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[Willco]

Drama queens welcome.

A bit of backstory before we get to the main event (and stay with me here, it's worth it), which would in book form, no doubt sell better than Bill Clinton's autobiography...

We got more drama than The OT. All in one thread. Ladies and gentlemen, you may or may not be aware that a few months (four maybe?), Serafitia staged a rather notorious prank to embarrass me in front of the forum along with some of our esteemed administrators here. I took it in stride, as I'm more than able to take a joke, and fact is, I actually got along with Sera afterwards. We chatted about random bullshit off and on right up until my departure to Los Angeles last month. Her moody antics, which I had been warned about beforehand, caught up with her and if she had a penis, I would've called her a dick.

So I embarked for Los Angeles, a wonderful city, where I had a lot of fun and met a lot of people. From Jay (a gentlemen and a scholar) to our beloved Tim (at first I thought he was a merc protecting THQ with his biceps!) to Patrick (not as evil as previously thought!) and even CK (who I won't refer to by first name because he is tall). But one of the more intriguing forum members I met out there, who comes into play here (and recognized me by shoe size no less), was Chris (BuddyChrist for all you laymen). You couldn't ask for a nicer guy. He's even decent looking by female standards!

I heard whispers of a nameless evil out in Los Angeles. Acts of lewdness so vile being performed that those who know dare not speak of it! Basically, I heard of shenanigans between our very own inglorious poster, AlphaSnake (Arnold!), and our third most infamous female poster, Sera. I chose to sit on this information, partly because I could not connect all the pieces, and partly because I didn't hate the other half of this disgusting equation (that half being Sera, sorry Arnold).

Oh, but it doesn't stop there, people. BOMBSHELL! Thanks to our friend BuddyChrist, I learned of his relationship with Sera as well and with his blessing, will also share that with you. For those who did not know and poke fun last month, Chris actually bunked with Arnold during E3 and worked for him afterwards. He was laid off this week.

I was actually sympathetic to Sera's plea for me not divulge this information on the forum and was actually going to withhold it. Really. But then, she insulted me, she insulted Chris and after her debacle with Chris, I had no choice. I felt for the guy.

Enough with me, let's move to the logs!

[02:21] <Willco> Oh, I got something from LA for you. HOPEFULLY IT COMES THROUGH. MWUHAHAHAHAHA.
[02:22] <Serafitia> hm?
[02:22] <Willco> You'll see.
[02:23] <Willco> Hopefully it comes through. It'll be humorous to say the least.
[02:23] <Serafitia> What are you talking about?
[02:23] <Willco> If I tell you, it won't be a surprise.
[02:23] <Serafitia> What am I supposed to be waiting for?
[02:24] <Willco> You'll know!
[02:24] <Serafitia> When?
[02:24] <Willco> Hopefully, everyone will know.
[02:24] <Serafitia> What are you plotting, man?
[02:24] <Willco> Me? Nothing, of course.
[02:24] <Serafitia> Then who?
[02:25] <Serafitia> Speak, Will federman! >:O
[02:25] <Willco> Why am I going to tell you this stuff.
[02:25] <Serafitia> Because I asked it of you.
[02:25] <Serafitia> Please?
[02:25] <Willco> Haha, I think that marks the first time you ever said please.
[02:25] <Serafitia> Perhaps.
[02:25] <Serafitia> I'm not sure.
[02:25] <Serafitia> To you, maybe.
[02:25] <Willco> Probably ever, for you.
[02:26] <Willco> At any rate, when I know, you'll know. It'll be great.
[02:26] <Willco> I am sure I will love it!
[02:26] <Serafitia> What is it, revenge?
[02:26] <Willco> Revenge? I thought me and you were over that!

Yes, I was above revenge, but certainly not taunting. Let's continue!

[02:26] <Serafitia> Then what is it?
[02:26] <Serafitia> A hint?
[02:27] <Willco> Of course not. It is amazing what I learn about people in LA, though.
[02:27] <Serafitia> What's there to learn about me out there?
[02:27] <Willco> Things.
[02:28] <Serafitia> I recall you mentioned something about that e3 a little while ago, too.
[02:28] <Willco> Mentioned what? E3? It was great!
[02:28] <Serafitia> Nevermind.
[02:29] <Willco> Well, we left on such unfriendly terms, I am not quite sure what I said.
[02:30] <Serafitia> I don't know what you learned, but please don't tell anyone about me and alpha.
[02:30] <Serafitia> Please.
[02:31] <Serafitia> What do you want?
[02:31] <Serafitia> Just leave him alone.
[02:31] <Willco> Huh? I haven't spoken with Alpha.
[02:32] <Serafitia> oh.
[02:32] <Serafitia> Then what are you talking about?
[02:32] <Serafitia> Please, tell me.
[02:33] <Willco> Pfft. Sera, do you really think I'd screw you over?
[02:33] <Willco> C'mon.

Never trust a guy who asks a question like that. I sound so, um, dubious saying that. But I digress...

[02:33] <Serafitia> I don't know. You got punk'd pretty well those months ago.
[02:33] <Serafitia> You'd have something against me, I'm sure.
[02:34] <Serafitia> Especially considering how you've been posting lately.
[02:34] <Willco> Posting what lately?
[02:34] <Serafitia> I don't know. Just don't tell anyone. I thought I could keep our relationship outside of the internet.
[02:36] <Willco> So what, say nothing of Arnold?
[02:37] <Serafitia> We met up at e3.
[02:37] <Serafitia> I didn't want anyone to know I was going because I wanted some privacy.
[02:38] <Serafitia> How'd you find out?
[02:38] <Serafitia> Did you see us together or something?
[02:39] <Willco> No, I did not see YOU at E3.
[02:40] <Willco> I do however, hear things.
[02:40] <Serafitia> Then how. from who?
[02:42] <Willco> From people.
[02:42] <Serafitia> Fine, don't say.
[02:42] <Serafitia> I can respect that.
[02:42] <Serafitia> We met at the sony party.
[02:42] <Serafitia> It was thursday, I think.
[02:43] <Willco> I knew it!

The truth is out! Sera and Arnold exposed! I guess we'll see the honeymoon video hit the web soon at this rate.

[02:43] <Serafitia> I was talking to him and he seemed really nice. I liked what he had to say. You know, there's a lot of people on the ga forums, but not many of them can talk about games.
[02:43] <Serafitia> And it was only after that I had realized that it was alpha.
[02:44] <Willco> Heh. So judgemental, you are.
[02:44] <Serafitia> How so? I asked him if he goes online, and when he said yes and mentioned GA, it hit me.
[02:45] <Serafitia> He knew who I was, but I didn't know who he was. It was magical.
[02:45] <Willco> Haha, magical.
[02:45] <Serafitia> What?
[02:45] <Serafitia> Shut up
[02:45] <Willco> What? You said magical!

Haha! MAGICAL! Sera sounds like a bad Degrassi episode there. That made me spit out my water even!

[02:47] <Serafitia> Ok, it does sound corny.
[02:47] <Serafitia> But he's a really nice guy.
[02:47] <Serafitia> Different from the others.
[02:47] <Willco> Man, I wish I had previous logs.
[02:47] <Willco> Of Alpha conversations in #ga
[02:47] <Willco> BEFORE and AFTER shots, if you will.
[02:47] <Serafitia> I can kinda relate to him too, from all the flack that he's taken on the forums.
[02:47] <Willco> Half that flack you've given him!
[02:50] <Serafitia> That wasn't really serious.
[02:50] <Serafitia> Kinda like that last time you got punk'd, he didn't take any of the things I said personal.
[02:51] <Willco> Why would he? I was the one punk'd, so to speak.
[02:52] <Serafitia> Hey, you went and changed user names. You were wounded pretty badly.
[02:52] <Willco> I was doing that to begin with.
[02:52] <Serafitia> Go ahead, play it down.
[02:53] <Willco> I'm not playing it down!
[02:53] <Willco> You think a bit too much of yourself, but that's okay.
[02:53] <Serafitia> I'm just saying, I really admired the way alpha would shrug off what people said about him.
[02:55] <Willco> ... k.
[02:57] <Serafitia> Whatever, just try to keep your mouth shut about it.
[02:57] <Serafitia> I'd really appreciate it.
[02:57] <Willco> That came out really nice and polite!

Oh no! The sympathy well is drying up! Smooth, Sera. Real smooth.

[02:58] <Serafitia> Knowing you, you're probably planning on getting back at ma.
[02:58] <Willco> You think I'm that shallow, Sera?
[02:58] <Willco> I'm sad.
[02:58] <Willco> I've sat on information for quite some time now.
[02:58] <Serafitia> How long?
[02:58] <Serafitia> And why didn't you tell me before?
[02:58] <Willco> Was there a reason to?
[02:58] <Willco> I was also kinda pissed at you.
[02:59] <Serafitia> Yeah, you are a sensitive little wuss.
[02:59] <Serafitia> Almost forgot about that.
[02:59] <Serafitia>
[02:59] <Willco> And you have a heart of ice.
[02:59] <Willco> We all have our shortcomings.
[03:00] <Serafitia> How would you know what my heart's made of?
[03:00] <Serafitia> You've never been in it.
[03:00] <Serafitia> And perhaps that's why you envy Alpha.
[03:00] <Serafitia> Am I right?
[03:00] <Willco> HHHHAHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
[03:00] <Serafitia> Forced laughter
[03:00] <Serafitia> I knew it.
[03:00] <Willco> Yes.
[03:01] <Willco> That was kind of mean, I guess.
[03:01] <Willco> LOL <--- Better?

Haha! That's gold. If I envy Alpha for anything, it's because he has the will power (no pun intended!) to deal with Sera. I can't. Most can't. She's like see-saw of emotions. I certainly didn't envy him after I learned what she did to poor Chris (girls, he's available!).

[03:02] <Serafitia> You don't know the first thing abot mean.
[03:02] <Serafitia> Just please, don't tell anyone about this.
[03:02] <Serafitia> You understand, don't you?
[03:02] <Willco> Why are you so worried?
[03:02] <Serafitia> Haven't you ever loved someone?
[03:02] <Serafitia> Because I certainly know how people on the net can be.
[03:03] <Willco> I can't say I've loved someone. Maybe my dog. Or family members.
[03:03] <Willco> Are you saying you LOVE Arnold?
[03:04] <Serafitia> That's none of your business.
[03:04] <Willco> Wait, you asked me a question.
[03:04] <Willco> I answered it!
[03:05] <Serafitia> Alright, whatever.
[03:06] <Serafitia> I asked nicely, but if you know what's good for you, you'll keep this info to yourself.
[03:06] <Willco> I get the feeling like you're not happy with me.
[03:06] <Willco> Wait, is that a threat?
[03:06] <Willco> I can tell you, I do not respond well to THREATS.
[03:06] <Serafitia> I'd take that reply and responding well.
[03:07] <Willco> That made no sense.
[03:08] <Serafitia> and = as
[03:08] <Serafitia> I typo when I'm riled.

Hah, I've ruffled some feathers! Meanwhile, the plot thickens as Serafitia was beginning to crack and raced towards a friendly face, BuddyChrist, for help...

<Serafitia> hey bud, you around?
<BuddyC_Laptop> Yea, what's up?
<Serafitia> did you tell anyone about how i rejected alpha a while back?
<BuddyC_Laptop> Yea, I told a few people at E3. eXxy, Link, CK, Shouta. Why?
<Serafitia> 'cause federman was trying to blackmail me with it
<BuddyC_Laptop> well, that certainly sounds like federman all right.
<Serafitia> so predictable.
<Serafitia> there's a problem though. i don't think alpha told you, but i met up with him at the Sony party.
<BuddyC_Laptop> Federman?
<Serafitia> ...no
<BuddyC_Laptop> ALPHA?!
<Serafitia> ...
<BuddyC_Laptop> YOU MET UP WITH ALPHA?!
<BuddyC_Laptop> whoa, wait a minute. you weren't even at E3!
<Serafitia> Yea, I was. I just didn't tell anyone, I didn't want everyone stalking me or whatever.
<BuddyC_Laptop> ...
<BuddyC_Laptop> ...
<BuddyC_Laptop> ...
<Serafitia> look bud, I really need someone to talk to right now.
<BuddyC_Laptop> *sigh* who else knows?
<Serafitia> No one! I didn't tell anyone, and neither did Alpha!
<BuddyC_Laptop> Then how did Federman find out?
<Serafitia> I don't know :/
<Serafitia> Maybe he's smarter than I initially thought. It's been a long day, Arnold and I had a huge fight, and now this.

Not only did she insult my intelligence, but she called me predictable! Ugh. Meanwhile, Sera begins to doubt the validity of my statements...

[03:12] <Serafitia> I just don't like the idea of you blabbing this out to the entire forum.
[03:12] <Serafitia> I know you, Willco.
[03:12] <Willco> You don't know me.
[03:12] <Serafitia> I've battled you before.
[03:12] <Willco> Battled? You sound like a drama queen.
[03:13] <Serafitia> I've been called that before.
[03:13] <Serafitia> Maybe it's true.
[03:13] <Willco> Probably.
[03:13] <Serafitia> I didn't say probably, I said maybe.
[03:13] <Willco> Alright, MAYBE.
[03:17] <Serafitia> Do you know Arnold? How'd you know his name?
[03:17] <Willco> I've known Arnold's name for awhile.
[03:17] <Willco> We've gotten into, let's say, more heated arguments.
[03:17] <Willco> Hell, I even said he was more than welcome to challenge me at E3!
[03:18] <Serafitia> That's strange. He's told me just about everyone who he's got into it with from ga, he hasn't mentioned you once.
[03:19] <Willco> It's not like he's my, say, Green Goblin. More like my, eh, Mysterio.
[03:19] <Willco> We were both banned temporarily for saying shit towards each other awhile back.
[03:19] <Serafitia> They wore the same colors.
[03:19] <Willco> Whatever, Mysterio was a loser villain.
[03:20] <Willco> Our argument went something like this:
[03:20] <Willco> "I RUN A PS2 WEBSITE YOU ARE WORTHLESS!"
[03:20] <Willco> "I GO TO COLLEGE AND HAVE WORKED FOR CBS SPORTS RADIO!"
[03:20] <Willco> "WELL MY SITE IS HUGE YOU ARE SAD AND PITIFUL!"
[03:20] <Serafitia> What the hell are you talking about?
[03:20] <Willco> My argument with your boy toy.
[03:21] <Serafitia> Oh, he's more than that.

I really need that vomit emoticon right about now.

[03:21] <Willco> The less I know about THAT, the happier I am. Thank you.
[03:21] <Serafitia> Suit yourself.
[03:21] <Willco> No emoticons, either.
[03:22] <Willco> What you two do between the Sony party and sleeping is something best left to Animal Planet.
[03:24] <Willco> So, we're cool then?
[03:25] <Serafitia> As long as you don't go blabbing, yes.
[03:25] <Serafitia> Please, Will.
[03:25] <Willco> Jesus, why are you so worried.
[03:26] <Serafitia> Because this is GA, we're talking about. Individually, alpha and I have been ridiculed. Just imagining the thought of a thread about the both of us.
[03:26] <Serafitia> Surely, it'll bring notoriety to the one the posts it, but it'll be horrible for us
[03:26] <Willco> You really are stressed about this?
[03:27] <Serafitia> not really stressed, but it'd be quite a smack in the face to have this pop up in the forums
[03:27] <Willco> Fact is, I really don't like him. He's an asshat. You. I have bit more respect for you. What goes around comes around, but I certainly won't be the one to do it.
[03:28] <Serafitia> You mean you won't tell anyone?
[03:28] <Serafitia> Have you told anyone?
[03:28] <Willco> Not anyone that doesn't already know.
[03:28] <Serafitia> Names.
[03:28] <Willco> Fat chance.
[03:28] <Serafitia> how fat?
[03:28] <Willco> Think Brando.
[03:29] <Serafitia> He's losing weight.
[03:30] <Willco> At any rate, I'm not giving names.

I would make a great CIA agent. Never give anything up under torture! Meanwhile, back during the Sera/Chris conversation, she gives him the MAGICAL details of her hook up with Arnold...

<BuddyC_Laptop> ...you're still seeing him?
<Serafitia> yea
<BuddyC_Laptop> Anything else you're not telling me?
<Serafitia> I'm pregnant with his child.
<BuddyC_Laptop> !
<Serafitia> kidding.
<BuddyC_Laptop> I'm still in awe over this. What, did you secretly date KiNeSiS too?
<Serafitia> >:0
<BuddyC_Laptop> Alright, assuming this isn't some prank you're pulling on me, did you plan to meet him at E3?
<Serafitia> No! I didn't even know it was him till after the party. It was almost like Cinderella...only he knew who I was from the start.
<BuddyC_Laptop> Did you recognize him?
<Serafitia> no. on the cab ride back to my hotel, he gave me his business card. I thought PSX Extreme sounded a little familiar, but it didn't click till the next day. He was so nice...not what I would have expected, not at all.
<BuddyC_Laptop> And you had no idea, at all, that this charming suitor was most likely stalking you?
<Serafitia> >:0
<Serafitia> I asked him if he went online much, and he said yes and mentioned GA. I thought that was a weird coincidence, and I thought for a second it could be him, but I dismissed the thought. I thought it was impossible.
<Serafitia> I mean, this guy was just...perfect. It was almost magical.

Haha! It sounds funnier the second time! Meanwhile, back in our IRC window, Sera continues to push my buttons...

[03:31] <Serafitia> I knew you'd blabber to someone.
[03:31] <Serafitia> That's just like you.
[03:32] <Willco> I didn't blabber to anyone who didn't already know.
[03:32] <Willco> I haven't even SPOKEN to anybody since we've been talking about.

This is pretty much a lie. I had already been talking to Chris by now, although he was not really disclosing the full details of his conversation.

[03:33] <Serafitia> No, but you said you wouldn't name names.
[03:33] <Serafitia> I want names.
[03:33] <Serafitia> Have you told anyone?
[03:34] <Willco> What in your right mind thinks I'm going to betray people's trust and give names.
[03:34] <Willco> Have I told anyone? Again, for like the fifth time, NO. NOT ANYONE WHO DID NOT KNOW.
[03:34] <Serafitia> hm.
[03:34] <Serafitia> ok.
[03:34] <Serafitia> You better not have.
[03:35] <Willco> You know, threatening me really isn't helping your cause.
[03:35] <Willco> I hate the other half of this situation already.
[03:35] <Willco> You not really giving me incentive to be quiet by telling I BETTER NOT HAVE.
[03:36] <Serafitia> You know how I am, will. You'll regret it in the end.
[03:36] <Willco> No, I wouldn't. And I don't know how you are.
[03:36] <Willco> You're like a mood swing.
[03:36] <Serafitia> I'm Serafitia, the terror of ages.
[03:36] <Willco> You're a basketcase from New York that hangs out a little too much at a forum.

This is when you can see Sera's little threats have pretty much taken their toll on me.

[03:41] <Willco> You acting totally weird.
[03:43] <Willco> Hey, if I were to post it, what forum should I post it in? Gaming or Off Topic?
[03:43] <Willco> Maybe BOTH.
[03:44] <Willco> p.s. i am kidding jk
[03:45] <Serafitia> You better be.
[03:46] <Willco> OR ELSE!
[03:47] <Serafitia> Exactly.
[03:47] <Willco> Again, threats hold little water with me.
[03:47] <Willco> You know, I appreciate the pseudo-serious appeal, but I never know with you.
[03:47] <Serafitia> Then you should learn to be more cautious.
[03:48] <Willco> Again, I really don't care.

Her barrage of threats continue! I'm shaking in my little space boots!

[03:53] <Willco> You know what pisses me off? This whole I KNOW WHO YOU ARE, HOLIER THAN THOU attitude.
[03:54] <Serafitia> Well, it's not my fault you were born the way you were.
[03:54] <Willco> Fuck you.
[03:54] <Willco> You want me to do you a favor?
[03:55] <Willco> I should post this shit.
[03:55] <Willco> And you can deal with yourself for once.
[03:55] <Willco> I'm not going to, though.
[03:55] <Willco> Because I'm not some fucking asshat, vile guy you think I am.
[03:56] <Serafitia> Says you.
[03:56] <Willco> Says me.
[03:56] <Willco> And my word is a lot more honest that yours, that's for sure.
[03:57] <Serafitia> Whatever, think what you want.
[03:57] <Willco> It's not what I think.
[03:57] <Willco> It's the truth.

Yeah, even at this point I wasn't going to post it. In fact, I even told Chris I wouldn't, but Sera, oh that Sera, she continues to test my patience.

[03:57] <Serafitia> I'm tired of your dumb ass trying to manipulate me.
[03:57] <Willco> I'm not trying to manipulate anything.
[03:57] <Serafitia> I knew your jealousy would shine through.
[03:57] <Willco> WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
[03:57] <Serafitia> You know what you are, Will Federman?
[03:58] <Serafitia> You're an asshole.
[03:58] <Serafitia> Do as you please.
[03:58] <Serafitia> I'm done with you.
[03:58] <Willco> Good.
[03:58] <Serafitia> You're just trying to get over that time I punk'd you.
[03:58] <Willco> Get over yourself.
[03:58] <Willco> You might love the attention you get here, because ARNOLD is the only one who cares in real-life, but nobody really cares.
[03:58] <Willco> I go to work and nobody cares about [that prank].
[03:59] <Willco> I go out and nobody cares about what you did.
[03:59] <Willco> It's amazing!
[03:59] <Serafitia> You're right. He's the only one that matters.
[03:59] <Serafitia> To me, anyway.
[03:59] <Serafitia> That's where you're wrong.
[03:59] <Willco> Please, tell me.
[03:59] <Serafitia> As long as you know what I did, that's enough for me.
[03:59] <Serafitia> That's all that matters to this little drama queen.
[04:00] <Willco> Little is an understatement.
[04:00] <Serafitia> Perhaps.

Yeah, at this point, this is when the crazy comes out. That's crazy talk. You're crazy, Sera. GET OFF THE ROAD.

[04:01] <Willco> You're such a headcase. I can't believe I wasted my breath with Mike about you.
[04:02] <Serafitia> It was him you told, you little rat?
[04:02] <Serafitia> Great, now it's over.
[04:02] <Willco> I haven't fucking told Mike.
[04:02] <Serafitia> but you just said...
[04:02] <Willco> I was talking about YOU in terms of Mike.
[04:03] <Willco> Mike, as you know, says a lot of shit about you.
[04:03] <Serafitia> Good, because he'd be the last person I'd want you to tell.
[04:03] <Willco> And I used to defend you by saying, "Nah, after the whole thing where she humiliated me, she was kind of cool."
[04:03] <Willco> And he said, "Yeah, she seems like that, but she's just as bad as the people she condemns."
[04:04] <Willco> You know right? Mike should have his own psychic hotline!
[04:04] <Serafitia> You jock him too much.

And right now, I have just sent Mike a PM! Congratulations!

Now, at the same time, she continues her conversation with Chris and a bombshell is dropped. The truth is out! ... Again!

<BuddyC_Laptop> Does [Federman] know about us?
<Serafitia> I don't think so.
<BuddyC_Laptop> So you left me for Alpha then.
<Serafitia> Look, Chris, it's not like that.
<BuddyC_Laptop> I respected your decision to end things Sera. But now, just. YOU. LEFT. ME. FOR. ALPHA.
<BuddyC_Laptop> Is that why Alpha fired me this week? Because of you?
<Serafitia> No, he fired you because you're a shitty writer. (Editor's Note: Nice, Sera. Real nice.)
<BuddyC_Laptop> After all you helped me through, with Leah and Kelly, you go and fuck me over like this. Typical woman.
<Serafitia> I didn't even know for sure I'd make it to E3 until the very last second. I figured that if we were really meant to be, we'd meet up.
<BuddyC_Laptop> Oh, now it's back to this fate shit. That's rich Sera, real rich.

Meanwhile, in my IRC window, I defend Mike Works' honor!

[04:04] <Willco> Yeah, it's too bad we didn't share a magical E3 moment.
[04:05] <Serafitia> You were there?
[04:06] <Willco> No, I wasn't there. I was mocking you.
[04:06] <Willco> Let me share a bit of wisdom with you. I'm not going to say anything and I'll tell you why.
[04:06] <Serafitia> No.
[04:06] <Serafitia> Don't.
[04:06] <Serafitia> I'll tell you why I won't say anything.
[04:06] <Willco> You'll fuck up your relationship without my help. If you somehow manage NOT to alienate a male in your life, you should get a certificate.
[04:07] <Serafitia> Leave you're 3rd grade reasoning to yourself. Listen to what I have to say.
[04:07] <Willco> No.
[04:07] <Willco> Sera.
[04:07] <Willco> I'm done with YOU.
Session Close: Sat Jun 19 04:07:23 2004

Crash and burn. Meanwhile, Sera was playing The Passion of the BuddyChrist, and she was trying to bully him into helping her against me of all people. Great tactic there. More bombshells are dropped that result in hilarity.

<BuddyC_Laptop> I can't believe I spent over $200 on my phone bill for you.
<Serafitia> Alright, that's it. You know what? Regardless of how much time you spent talking to me, I never, ever, got anything close to the feeling I get when I'm with Alpha. I loved you Chris, I really did, but relationships need physical intimacy too. And Arnold provides that.
<Serafitia> Are you going to help me stop federman, or are you gonna be a whiney asshole?
<BuddyC_Laptop> Yea...we're done here.
<BuddyC_Laptop> I hope you get what's coming to you, in fact, I'm going to make sure of it.
<Serafitia> Oh?
<BuddyC_Laptop> bros before hos, off to federman i goes
<Serafitia> You wouldn't.
<BuddyC_Laptop> I did. I hope you get what you deserve - try not to get pregnant again, don't want to have too many kids before you settle down.

With her plan backfired, Chris and I compared and combined our logs, deciding to disclose the full truth about this mistress of Gaming-Age. I hope her and Arnold enjoy their magical lives together.

Truth be told, this isn't really vindication for what she did. I'm fortunate, like most times, to be in the right place at the right time. Chris, on the other hand, was completely manipulated by her and ladies, he's single. He didn't deserve this crap, least of all from her, and if it weren't for fear that Suerte would call him, I'd see if I could post a personal!

Signing off.
- Will Federman, Internet Celebrity
w/ Special Thanks to BuddyChrist, Caterer to the Stars

 

[StrikerObi]

 

[EviLore]

Heh Heh.

 

[Suerte]

 

[Ryck]

lol drama.......

 

[kitchenmotors]

>_<

 

[Lambtron]

Lollerskates.

 

[Seth C]

I can't read all of that. Someone summarize for me?

 

[FrenchMovieTheme]

nice try, unfortuantely this is all a hoax fellas! they are all in on it! but it is a good story if you choose to believe it!

 

[Willco]

nice try, unfortuantely this is all a hoax fellas! they are all in on it! but it is a good story if you choose to believe it!

No, I'm sure Chris will come in here to corroborate my story. Several other people know this happened or at least certain events, as well.

 

[karasu]

Why would anybody, especially a male, seriously post gossipy catnippy BS like this?

 

[sc0la]

for someone who regularly calls Sera and others attention whores you sure have them trumped.

 

[Willco]

Why would anybody, especially a male, seriously post gossipy catnippy BS like this?

Because it's hilarious. I'm also gossipy and catnippy!

 

[FrenchMovieTheme]

sorry federman, i dont buy it.

 

[Seth C]

Why would anybody, especially a male, seriously post gossipy catnippy BS like this?

Apparently he feels he got screwed over by her. I dunno for sure though. I couldn't read the whole thing. Zzzzzz.....

 

[nomoment]

Willco - You ARE the mutha-fuckin' genius!

Jeez, and I thought women didn't respond well to Alpha's putrid man-wang?

And just to note, I ran to the bathroom to disgorge myself after reading this quote:

Alright, that's it. You know what? Regardless of how much time you spent talking to me, I never, ever, got anything close to the feeling I get when I'm with Alpha. I loved you Chris, I really did, but relationships need physical intimacy too. And Arnold provides that.

Goddamn.

Buddy, you deserved better, dude.

 

[Belfast]

MWAHAHAHAHAHA.

This is why I no longer try to get involved with women over the internet.

 

[evil ways]

Sometimes you just gotta know when to let something go man.

 

[fart]

tl;dr spidey throws gobs of white goo at feddy, serafitia licks it off him. SEXY MISSION: ACCOMPLISHED

 

[Orin GA]

Eh....the story needed a ninja somewhere in it.

 

[Mike Works]

[04:02] <Serafitia> but you just said...
[04:02] <Willco> I was talking about YOU in terms of Mike.
[04:03] <Willco> Mike, as you know, says a lot of shit about you.
[04:03] <Serafitia> Good, because he'd be the last person I'd want you to tell.
[04:03] <Willco> And I used to defend you by saying, "Nah, after the whole thing where she humiliated me, she was kind of cool."
[04:03] <Willco> And he said, "Yeah, she seems like that, but she's just as bad as the people she condemns."
[04:04] <Willco> You know right? Mike should have his own psychic hotline!

Yes, because it takes a psychic to figure out that she's ritualistically unstable.

 

[fart]

spidey is like a ninja, but a gay ninja

 

[ourumov]

Comedy Gold...

Don't know if it's fake or not but I laughed a lot. Thanks.

 

[The Shadow]

I can't read all of that. Someone summarize for me?

It would appear that Sarafita dumped nice guy Chris (BuddyC) for asshole Arnold (AlphaSnake) and claims that her relationship with Arnold is "magical". Also, Wilco was willing to keep the secret until he was prodded and poked over the boiling point by Sara, and so decided to spill the beans on The OT.

I really can't wait 'till Monday for the next episode.

 

[Error Macro]

Haha, Alphasnake's name is Arnold. Oh boy. I still like him though.

The only question I have left now is:

WILL YOU CAME TO LA AND DIDN'T HANG OUT WITH ME?? YOU ASSHOLE!

 

[tenchir]

Lol, got a nice laugh out of this.

 

[fart]

i want to think this is fake because my faith in humanity doesn't allow for people that are this stupid, but regardless this is gold. hats off to feddy

 

[Soul4ger]

My, what a thumping good read!

 

[BuddyC]

Alpha (2:43:55 PM): hey dude
Alpha (2:43:57 PM): wtf?
Alpha (2:44:08 PM): what the fuck is up with that thread?
Alpha (2:44:18 PM): why in the fuck are you fucking assholes invading my privacy?
Alpha (2:44:32 PM): answer me, chris
BuddyC (2:44:37 PM): ..
Alpha (2:44:38 PM): i fucking trusted you
BuddyC (2:44:42 PM): ..you're the one that stole her from me
BuddyC (2:44:46 PM): i fucking trusted you
Alpha (2:44:48 PM): fuck you. i didnt steal shit!
BuddyC (2:44:55 PM): not only with the details of us
Alpha (2:44:57 PM): you live like 1500 miles away from me
BuddyC (2:45:02 PM): but with my job
Alpha (2:45:03 PM): shes practically my fucking neighbor
BuddyC (2:45:04 PM): god damnit
Alpha (2:45:08 PM): goddamn
BuddyC (2:45:11 PM): yea, well, you knew about us!
Alpha (2:45:13 PM): are you fucking stupid?
BuddyC (2:45:18 PM): HOW COULD YOU JUST MEET UP WITH HER AND NOT TELL ME
Alpha (2:45:34 PM): whats it to you? seriously? who the fuck are you?
Alpha (2:45:47 PM): i dont have to report shit to you. it was our secret
Alpha (2:45:58 PM): i knew if someone found out it'd break loose
Alpha (2:46:06 PM): fuck this forum is SO FUCKING PATHETIC!
BuddyC (2:46:15 PM): yea, well, you're the one that keeps coming back
Alpha (2:46:34 PM): I dont even post more than once a day. And who gives a shit if i do or not
Alpha (2:46:55 PM): you all have nothing better to do than to ridicules other to make up for YOUR fucking insecurities
Alpha (2:46:58 PM): fucking losers.
BuddyC (2:47:10 PM): MY INSECURITIES?!
Alpha (2:47:13 PM): especially Federman
BuddyC (2:47:14 PM): i told you how much i loved her!
BuddyC (2:47:20 PM): i told you what she meant to me!
Alpha (2:47:25 PM): jesus christ
BuddyC (2:47:26 PM): fuck, i almost didn't go to e3 when she cancelled.
BuddyC (2:47:28 PM): but no.
Alpha (2:47:35 PM): 1500 MILES!!
BuddyC (2:47:37 PM): she goes in secret and you hooked up with her!
Alpha (2:47:41 PM): WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!?!
BuddyC (2:47:43 PM): WE WERE GONNA MEET IN LA
Alpha (2:47:48 PM): You're 6 states apart from us
Alpha (2:47:52 PM): OMFG! WOOW!
Alpha (2:48:03 PM): This is so fucking petty
BuddyC (2:48:23 PM): you wanna talk fucking petty, why don't i write for your site anymore.
BuddyC (2:48:25 PM): eh?
BuddyC (2:48:26 PM): EH?
BuddyC (2:48:31 PM): couldn't take the heat, eh?
Alpha (2:48:37 PM): Because as Sera put it...YOU SUCK!
Alpha (2:48:48 PM): you cant write for shit, BUDDY
Alpha (2:48:51 PM): har! PUN!
Alpha (2:48:59 PM): fucking god

 

[Ecrofirt]

who gives a shit?

 

[Ecrofirt]

How old is Serafitia? How old is Willco?

 

[bob_arctor]

LMAO@buddy's log.

 

[Willco]

How old is Serafitia? How old is Willco?

I am 12.

 

[tenchir]

Hahaha, oh man, someone gotta unbanned me from the chatroom(been over 3 weeks?).

 

[Seth C]

That's Alpha for you. Me, me, me. "Why did you do this? Whine, whine, whine." But don't dare bring up what he's done. That would be petty.

 

[Chesapeake Silt]

I'm looking forward to the 'HAHA OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU GUYS FELL FOR THIS" phase of the thread. Can we just skip ahead to that point?

 

[fart]

no. more drama, then outing

 

[border]

I usually can't stand being forced to read long IRC logs, but this kept me fairly engaged. Thanks for breaking it up into bite-size chunks.

<Willco> It's not like he's my, say, Green Goblin. More like my, eh, Mysterio.

I don't know why, but that had me laughing out loud....though the real owning was:

[03:36] <Serafitia> I'm Serafitia, the terror of ages.
[03:36] <Willco> You're a basketcase from New York that hangs out a little too much at a forum.

I'm skeptical of this like I'm skeptical of anything else. It seems to echo the "I went to Mina's house" hoax that AlphaSnake pulled on Opa Age recently. Strange to think that Serafitia was knocked up by somebody, though.

 

[Willco]

Listen, doubt the validity of my posts if you want, because quite simply I don't care. Sera is a cold, calculating serpent and she got what she deserved. The end.

 

[Soul4ger]

I'm skeptical of this like I'm skeptical of anything else. It seems to echo the "I went to Mina's house" hoax that AlphaSnake pulled on Opa Age recently. Strange to think that Serafitia was knocked up by somebody, though.

I can't necessarily figure out what's worse. This, if it's true, or if they decided to plan out a hoax like this. Funny, regardless. But very sad, either way. Very sad.

 

[Seth C]

It would appear that Sarafita dumped nice guy Chris (BuddyC) for asshole Arnold (AlphaSnake) and claims that her relationship with Arnold is "magical". Also, Wilco was willing to keep the secret until he was prodded and poked over the boiling point by Sara, and so decided to spill the beans on The OT.

I really can't wait 'till Monday for the next episode.

Thank you sir.

 

[evil ways]

Alpha (2:44:38 PM): i fucking trusted you
BuddyC (2:44:42 PM): ..you're the one that stole her from me
BuddyC (2:44:46 PM): i fucking trusted you
Alpha (2:44:48 PM): fuck you. i didnt steal shit!

So if Serafitia is Miss Elizabeth, who's Hulk Hogan and who's the Macho Man?

 

[bob_arctor]

This Sera character must be one hot piece of ass.

 

[nomoment]

That's Alpha for you. Me, me, me. "Why did you do this? Whine, whine, whine." But don't dare bring up what he's done. That would be petty.

I'm surprised Alpha hasn't pulled out any death threads yet.

It's always funny imagining that lanky bastard issue a "threat."

 

[border]

The whole sequence of events just seems a bit scripted and contrived. Fiction-esque coincidences and such. But hey, these things actually do happen in real life sometimes.

In any case, if it is a hoax then it's far better conceived than the "I went to Mina's house" escapade, which never really rang true.

 

[ourumov]

THe only thing I cannot understand is that someone prefers to spend 200$ on phone instead just using msn + a micro...

 

[Seth C]

THe only thing I cannot understand is that someone prefers to spend 200$ on phone instead just using msn + a micro...

Or hell, get a cell phone and talk at night. Or, get VoIP and talk any time you want for about $20 a month.

 

[Mike Works]

So if Serafitia is Miss Elizabeth, who's Hulk Hogan and who's the Macho Man?

Chris is Hulk Hogan, Arnold's the Macho Man, and I'm the Ultimate Warrior.

 

[Ristamar]

THe only thing I cannot understand is that someone prefers to spend 200$ on phone instead just using msn + a micro...

Probably because it sounds like shit. Regular phones sound bad enough which is fucking sad considering all the tech we have today.

Or hell, get a cell phone and talk at night.

That would be the smart bet...

 

[Soul4ger]

THe only thing I cannot understand is that someone prefers to spend 200$ on phone instead just using msn + a micro...

Love makes people do strange things...

This Sera character must be one hot piece of ass.

Dude. Internet daters.