How do you make new friends?

Corrik

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Jan 20, 2018
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Realize as I got older most of my friends moved away or grew apart. Now it's to the point of not having any real friends to do things with.

So, how do I fix this and make new friends? How do you do it? Lol
 

Khalid M.

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Nov 8, 2018
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Hit the gym. I met a lot of people there and made a few good friends.

Or interact with someone on social media who happens to have common interests and lives in the same area where you live.
 
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battletrax

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I show my pecker. He shows his. If the square of my circumference is equal to or lesser than 4 times his diameter, we become friends.

I’d imagine chickens make friends the same way.

Realize as I got older most of my friends moved away or grew apart. Now it's to the point of not having any real friends to do things with.

So, how do I fix this and make new friends? How do you do it? Lol

You can try the meetup app on a phone. It shows you groups meeting in your area. It’s great for finding people with similar interests. For example they have a gathering of people meeting to play video games. You can also find many different activities on the app. I would say that it’s a good way to make friends.
 

Corrik

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Jan 20, 2018
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Hit the gym. I met a lot of people there and made a few good friends.

Or interact with someone on social media who happens to have common interests and lives in the same area where you live.
Started going to the gym lately. Don't think I have talked to a single person there yet tho lol.


Alcohol and/or drugs + social events

I go to a few bars but bars seem to be dying outside of cities anymore due to so much crack down on drinking and driving. Most bars around me are dying and pretty boring now. Plus bar kinda counteracts the gym.

I’d imagine chickens make friends the same way.



You can try the meetup app on a phone. It shows you groups meeting in your area. It’s great for finding people with similar interests. For example they have a gathering of people meeting to play video games. You can also find many different activities on the app. I would say that it’s a good way to make friends.
Never heard of this. I'll check it out.
 
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MrTickles

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Feb 22, 2018
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Friends require significant time and monetary investment. Just don't do it. Stick with colleagues, acquaintances, online and offline gaming semi-friends etc. You don't need 'real friends'.

If you're desperate, join a hobby with local meetups. Maybe you make some semi-friends that way. A true friend takes ~5-10 years to make.
 
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Mondai

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Dec 15, 2018
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After 31 years, I still don't know how I made friends....it just works I guess.
 

Night.Ninja

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you could meet up and link up with people who shar the same intrest as you then go from there
 

ROMhack

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Basically picking up any kind of new hobby will help. That's obviously where meetups fit in.

The gym is ehhh. Classes are social but most people aren't in the gym to make friends.
 

hariseldon

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It definitely gets harder with age (stop sniggering), and for me, being autistic doesn’t help. Men are, in general, bad at this and it’s one of the reasons why men have a higher suicide rate for instance, we’re generally not good at building support networks. Women don’t know how good they’ve got it!
 

lil puff

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Yeah, I stopped trying. I am old and cranky.

I am friendly in gerenal, but I don't go out of my way,
 

ROMhack

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It definitely gets harder with age (stop sniggering), and for me, being autistic doesn’t help. Men are, in general, bad at this and it’s one of the reasons why men have a higher suicide rate for instance, we’re generally not good at building support networks. Women don’t know how good they’ve got it!

Yeah, men are awful at maintaining support networks (including me). My female friends are generally much easier to organise a catch-up with than the dudes.
 
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AaronB

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Most post-school friends I've made were from meeting people at church or through in-person board games and card games.
 
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I wasn't specifically looking for friends, but when I began focusing more on improving myself, learning, spending less time talking about embittered topics, investing my time into worthwhile activities, exercising more, etc. I started to get more friends.

The old adage from grade-school is true: to have friends you have to be a good friend. I just had to offer something to the people around me, as crass as that sounds. People generally reach out to the people around them who are interesting and approachable, without any invitation or solicitation needed.
 

ViceUniverse

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Mar 12, 2019
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Whatever your hobbies are, if you do them you will meet people who do them too.

Oh and changing jobs.

Everyone likes having favors granted BTW.
 
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Miku Miku

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Soul Calibur VI seems to be a good way. I usually try to whoop their ass and then they get impressed and add me as a friend! It probably works that way in real life?
 
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JORMBO

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My best friend I hang out regularly I’ve known since high school. Another friend I hang out with somewhat regularly I met at my last job.

As I get older I’ve made a few friends through my photography hobby. Maybe try a hobby that is more social oriented and will force you to interact with people.
 
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Dark Star

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Alcohol and/or drugs + social events

Yup. I went to a rap show/concert last night and everyone was passing around blunts/joints. At first I was just trying to blend into the crowd, mind my own business, etc (I had not smoked in almost a year, I just wanted to get out of the house. I rarely go out because I don't have many friends, sadly)... Then someone from behind asked me : "you smoke?". I turned around and was like "sure" (thinking, why not?) Took no more than 2 hits from his blunt... within 10 min. I was totally groovin in that venue, jumping in the mosh pit, huge grin on my face, dancing with random chicks, chatting with all kinds of cool people. It was a blast!
 
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highrider

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That's the spirit!

Haha, yeah it’s kind of grim. Friends have great value, you’re lucky to have a few good ones in your life. Most friends are more situational. These days people tend to invest everything in their spouses or significant partner if they have one. The few guys I call friends I either grew up with or was in the Army with, or jail lol. You have to have faced the fire a little for me to trust you.
 

Traianvs

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Join a club doing something you like. I met new friends when I started playing DnD and Arkham Horror at a nearby comic store

And while they are all far from my country, I'm still in touch with many of the people I met during my pilgrimage to Santiago
 

-Minsc-

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I'm honestly not sure. What I'm doing is learning to be more comfortable with myself and crossing my fingers to that I'll meet the right people in my travels.
 

iconmasterX

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Men are, in general, bad at this

Absolutely. At least in America -- I hear men may be more open to genuine friendship in Europe.

It has something to do with our cultural attitudes. We value self-reliance and independence, not vulnerability.

But this advice isn't bad -- "Rule: If you’re doing an activity with other men and you’re not talking about the activity, then what you have there is friendship."
 

DeafTourette

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Are some of y'all extreme introverts? Because this not needing friends thing is so foreign to me. I'm an ambivert with introvert leanings.

Anyway, I've made most of my friends online... And met most of them. There were meet and greets from FB, meetup.com app, meeting from message boards...

I made some real friends in a short amount of time. They've had my back and I've had theirs. We helped each other and been there for each other.

Making friends is so much easier online because you can be yourself and they see YOU before they see you.
 
Aug 18, 2018
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True. Making friends while older is extremely difficult. I lost all of my old friends since they still wanted to party/do drugs/hang out at punk shows in their mid 30s. I moved away from that scene, but those meet ups and groups do help.
 

hariseldon

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Are some of y'all extreme introverts? Because this not needing friends thing is so foreign to me. I'm an ambivert with introvert leanings.

Anyway, I've made most of my friends online... And met most of them. There were meet and greets from FB, meetup.com app, meeting from message boards...

I made some real friends in a short amount of time. They've had my back and I've had theirs. We helped each other and been there for each other.

Making friends is so much easier online because you can be yourself and they see YOU before they see you.

This is a gaming forum, thus lots of autism (hi, I'm autistic). Autism makes socialising an enormous fucking effort, when honestly most of the time I'd rather just go and do my own thing. It's exhausting trying to maintain the appearance of being a normal person when my brain is trying to do fucking weird shit and I'm trying to keep a lid on it.
 

iconmasterX

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Are some of y'all extreme introverts?

I consider myself fairly extroverted, actually. But I wouldn't say I have many friends, just a lot of good acquaintances.

Moving more than once since getting married and starting a family has been a factor. You might make a couple friends through the years, but then you take off (for a job, or whatever reason) and lose touch.
 

Luffytubby

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Hobbies is the best way. It's so uncomplicated because you don't go to meet people. You are there to do an activity you like. A sport for example is great.
Like, even just socializing randomly with people is something you can get from your hobbies. Just visit specialized stores and talk to the clerks. Go to conferences and such. You just need to focus on doing stuff you like to do, and that will take you out and meet other people.


I know people who have good experiences with meetup.com but I have not tried it. I think friends and romantic partners are similar in the sense in that the more you want them, the less likely you are to get them. Relationships have to be natural. It cannot be forced. And that is why doing activities is together is a good way to build a bond. That is why team exercises are so big in the job world. Because it has the potential to build stronger ties with your coworkers.

But coworkers are different from your non-work friends. Your non-work friends is your opportunity to meet and hang with people who are in a completely different field and lifestyle from your coworkers. There is a lot of benefit to having friends outside of work. Although many people meet their friends and partners through work. I think its a lot of eggs in one basket. But it also makes sense because we are drawn to what we know, and getting out of our comfort zone is uncomfortable for most of us.
 

Kingwingin.

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The best way for a guy to make friends is to have a joint problem you have to tackle together, that's why school and military are where men make long lasting friendships.

Best bet is to join a sports team.
 

JareBear

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I don't care where (just far)
I wake up every morning and tell myself this



Still waiting on Friend One
 

Jaxx_377

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I'm 42 years old and I don't have a single friend other than my wife. Haven't ever had any real close friends ever. people randomly come into my life and randomly drop out. I never cared either way other than my wife. It never bothered me before I guess I ain't gonna let start bothering me now.

But I guess if you want to make friends then find something you enjoy (i.e. fishing, hiking, drinking, sports, cooking... whatever) and join a local group for whatever that activity is assuming there is one around where you live and friend away.
 

iconmasterX

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The best way for a guy to make friends is to have a joint problem you have to tackle together, that's why school and military are where men make long lasting friendships.

Best bet is to join a sports team.

Well, the best bet is to join the military.

But a sports team is a decent approach.
 
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