Is being humble the best way to combat bullies?

Estellex

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I have met a lot of people over the years who enjoys putting people down to make themselves look good. Typically this is to look "good" in front of their friends or a girl that they are trying to attract. Would the best way to combat someone puting you down is just be humble?

Example would be, if someone is calling me out infront of other people by saying that I suck at a certain task or that I am just so bad, I would just answer with something like: "Haha, I know that I suck at this, but I will try my best to improve." Instead of snapping back at the other person. This would make them look like an asshole and people will probably come and defend me.

It would kind of be like making fun of a disabled person. No one wants to be that person irl.
 
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iconmasterX

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Sure, that's worth trying. People are pretty good about seeing through BS. If you can be the bigger man, they'll catch on pretty quick to what's really going on there.
 

nikolino840

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I have met a lot of people over the years who enjoys putting people down to make themselves look good. Typically this is to look "good" in front of their friends or a girl that they are trying to attract. Would the best way to combat someone puting you down is just be humble?

Example would be, if someone is calling me out infront of other people by saying that I suck at a certain task or that I am just so bad, I would just answer with something like: "Haha, I know that I suck at this, but I will try my best to improve." Instead of snapping back at the other person. This would make them look like an asshole and people will probably come and defend me.

It would kind of be like making fun of a disabled person. No one wants to be that person irl.
No ... Next day they kick your ass...and the next,and the next..so on...they don't care...bullies works in groups also...
 

Estellex

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No ... Next day they kick your ass...and the next,and the next..so on...they don't care...bullies works in groups also...

There are videos out there where people come to aid someone that is being tormented on Youtube. I don't know how true those social experiments are. I haven't met a lot of people that would make fun of other people just because they are in wheelchair or if they are poor.

It seems like it is taboo.

For example:

 
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#Phonepunk#

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Different tactics work. Punching an asshole in the face does the trick too. Used this on a few bullies who never gave me shit again
 
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Ailynn

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There is strength in being humble. Not all bullies respond to it, but it does work in many cases.

Also, I tend to see a bully as someone who has encountered some sort of suffering themselves. Sometimes a bully can become a good friend if you are able to speak to their heart. However, if the person has narcissistic personality disorder...it is near impossible to reach them. :messenger_pensive:
 

nikolino840

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There are videos out there where people come to aid someone that is being tormented on Youtube. I don't know how true those social experiments are. I haven't met a lot of people that would make fun of other people just because they are in wheelchair or if they are poor.

It seems like it is taboo.

For example:

Virtual Is different from Real Life....well maybe your Friends...but i think most turn the head on the other side to not see...and i don't think many Kids/teen are so altruistic...none have help me when they kickme or spit me at school ... Theres nothing you can Say or do for stop bullies..they go on whatever you do...
In my experience...
 
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Musky_Cheese

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There is strength in being humble. Not all bullies respond to it, but it does work in many cases.

Also, I tend to see a bully as someone who has encountered some sort of suffering themselves. Sometimes a bully can become a good friend if you are able to speak to their heart. However, if the person has narcissistic personality disorder...it is near impossible to reach them. :messenger_pensive:
She really is the best of us
 

Estellex

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Virtual Is different from Real Life....well maybe your Friends...but i think most turn the head on the other side to not see...and i don't think many Kids/teen are so altruistic...none have help me when they kickme or spit me at school ... Theres nothing you can Say or do for stop bullies..they go on whatever you do...
In my experience...

Maybe not kids or teens but in the adult world would you argue that it can work well? Being an asshole, especially to people less-fortunate are typically heavily looked down upon.
 
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iconmasterX

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Personally, I'd probably just raise an eyebrow, make a noise like "hmm" and go somewhere else.

But it depends on where this is happening. School or work, that's less feasible.
 
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dunpachi.com
Having dealt with NPDs for years, I can offer some advice.

React with complete boredom.

Wear a look of mild disgust on your face if they get too aggressive. This has less to do with them and more to do with the audience watching (there's almost always an audience).

"Huh, so this is how you spend the spare time from being better at [task] compared to me?"
"Wow. This is the fourth example (purposely exaggerating how many times will twist the knife) where you've wasted my time complaining about the same thing".
"Was there anything important you needed to speak to me about, or was that it?"

People don't get bullied for being uncivil. People get bullied for being nice, humble, and deferent.
 

nikolino840

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Maybe not kids or teens but in the adult world would you argue that it can work well? Being an asshole, especially to people less-fortunate are typically heavily looked down upon.
Fortunately never happened some experiences once i terminated school...idk .maybe...i Hope!
 

Estellex

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Having dealt with NPDs for years, I can offer some advice.

React with complete boredom.

Wear a look of mild disgust on your face if they get too aggressive. This has less to do with them and more to do with the audience watching (there's almost always an audience).

"Huh, so this is how you spend the spare time from being better at [task] compared to me?"
"Wow. This is the fourth example (purposely exaggerating how many times will twist the knife) where you've wasted my time complaining about the same thing".
"Was there anything important you needed to speak to me about, or was that it?"

People don't get bullied for being uncivil. People get bullied for being nice, humble, and deferent.

Would you say that this comedic skit is unrealistic then?

 

triplestation

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Case by case.

In your scenario where a bully is being critical of a task, I agree you just go with the grain. And if it turns out he's wrong and others clearly see that, then the bully becomes a pathetic nothing lmao.

If someone's physically pushing you around you turn on the edge switch, son. You change that motherfuckers life forever.
 
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Would you say that this comedic skit is unrealistic then?

Hahahaha! That was funny.

I mean... your original statement is still correct. Being humble is the best way to combat bullies. But there's a difference between "being humble" and "accepting bullying". You can be humble by not mercilessly attacking them in response.
 

ALIEN-gunner

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The best way I've found to combat a bully is to punch them in the nose. People tend to freak out when blood starts gushing out and bullies never really want a real fight they just want to scare people. Give them a fight and they'll typically stay away from you.
 

brap

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I have met a lot of people over the years who enjoys putting people down to make themselves look good. Typically this is to look "good" in front of their friends or a girl that they are trying to attract. Would the best way to combat someone puting you down is just be humble?

Example would be, if someone is calling me out infront of other people by saying that I suck at a certain task or that I am just so bad, I would just answer with something like: "Haha, I know that I suck at this, but I will try my best to improve." Instead of snapping back at the other person. This would make them look like an asshole and people will probably come and defend me.

It would kind of be like making fun of a disabled person. No one wants to be that person irl.
If I was a bully I'd beat you up for that and make fun of you even more lmao
 

Ailynn

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You have my sword.

Welcome, my friend. :messenger_relieved:

vikings-katheryn-winnick-2.jpg
 
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Kamina

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I’d make fun of them or something. Answering with a dramatic tone saying “your words wound me so much, the pain is unbarable” while clutching my chest.
 

MrTickles

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Just tell bully, in a measured, civilized tone to go fuck him or herself, in front of everyone. They never expect it, they never have a rebuke. They end up standing in silence, humiliated.
 

Dark Star

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Bullying, especially in school, is more "teasing" than anything. If someone makes fun of your shoes or hair or whatever, you can always just laugh it off and agree or make an even bigger joke out it, like : "oh my shoes? your mom bought me them last night" (then everyone listening will be like "OOOHHH SNAP" and you all go on your merry ways)

as an adult? much more complicated situation, that can become a legal issues in seconds - best way to avoid bullies "in the real world" is to simply avoid them at all costs. As an adult, who got more than just "teased" in my school days, I just learned to shrug off negative comments or just laugh it off as self-deprecating humor and make it seem like a joke (because life is a joke anyways, words are bullshit anyways). If someone puts their hands on me, then i'll probably shove them away or do some major damage to their family jewels if there's no witnesses... just sayin.
 
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highrider

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You have to embrace conflict, not with words but physical conflict. You have to show a bully that you don’t give a fuck, you can’t be intimidated or disrespected. Any level of either must be met with an escalation of the same. You project that mentality, bullies will leave you alone.

Example;
Bully: Hey it’s soy boy Charlie, here for some herbal tea?

You: Yeah I need replenishment after giving the high hard one to your mom, it was kind of weird with your dad watching.

This is just the first dumb thing that came to my head but you get the idea. It’s the same physically, they shove you you shove them back harder. In my personal experience this is the only way. Bullies aren’t trying to fight and neither are any rational people, so you have to project that you aren’t uncomfortable with any level of conflict. It’s nothing to you.
 
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The Pleasure

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Ever thought of telling them that they're just mad that you gave their mom dang a lang while you tell their daddy to cash your checks?
 

Zenaku

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I know a guy who loves triggering people, just so he can laugh when he gets a reaction. He'd be offensive to anyone and everyone, trying to piss people off.

I ignored him constantly, just smiling or laughing when he tried to trigger me, and it pissed him off enough that he couldn't get me to react that he told mutual friends how much he hated me.

Over time he got over it all. We can have normal conversations about games or work or some retro gaming, he hasn't tried to say anything to or about me for over a year because he knows I won't give him the reaction he wants.

With bullies you need to find out what they're after, and cut off their supply. In the case of a shittalker, just laugh and ignore them.
 

Durask

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I think there is no universal recipe, it is like saying “what’s the best way to make money”.

In some cases punching a bully in the nose will work great, in some cases it may get you badly hurt or even killed.
 

FStubbs

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Just tell bully, in a measured, civilized tone to go fuck him or herself, in front of everyone. They never expect it, they never have a rebuke. They end up standing in silence, humiliated.

This might work in the adult world, but in the kid world, the kid that says that is going to get beaten up.
 

Angry_Ostrich

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Example would be, if someone is calling me out infront of other people by saying that I suck at a certain task or that I am just so bad, I would just answer with something like: "Haha, I know that I suck at this, but I will try my best to improve." Instead of snapping back at the other person. This would make them look like an asshole and people will probably come and defend me.
irl.

Wowe, that is such a harsh example of bullying. How would anyone recover from "You suck at Maths".
This is not bullying, this is a criticism. Bullying is physically abuse you, when you're called 'ugly piece of lump' and being told to kill yourself.
And the only way of dealing with the actual bullying, is beating the shit out of bullies. Sounds barbaric, but that's the only language bullies understand. Trust me.
 

rivv3r

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Being humble could work. You could also follow them home and burn their house down. There's a pretty good chance they'd fuck off to somewhere else and you'd never have to interact with them again. Just spitballing.
 
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Ovek

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Being humble is far to passive and is very apathetic toward the way they are treating you and I can guarantee won't work 99% of the time, if anything it might make it worse because it make you look even weaker. Fighting back be it with word or a fist is the best and most cathartic way.
 

synchronicity

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There is strength in being humble. Not all bullies respond to it, but it does work in many cases.

Also, I tend to see a bully as someone who has encountered some sort of suffering themselves. Sometimes a bully can become a good friend if you are able to speak to their heart. However, if the person has narcissistic personality disorder...it is near impossible to reach them. :messenger_pensive:

Yes, pain tends to perpetuate pain if there is attachment to the pain. Unfortunately some are so wrapped up in their pain, that their identity is very solid in that suffering. If they only knew that all that was needed was to let it go - that freedom is right there.
 
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