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[SallyIsNow]

I don't know why Im fucking writing this or how to fucking start. The closest I've felt to okay is just on the edge of the line. It's a constant fucking fight to avoid triggers. I haven't had a silent moment in fucking forever. I have to be constantly surrounded bt noise to avoid the fucking thoughts. I fucking miss my grandma. I miss her so fucking much. She's the one id go to when the weight on my shoulders came crashing down and now shes gone. Ive lost the one person who i felt was truly on my side and I cant fucking take it. Im sorry im fuckinf writing this bullshit. It just hurts. It hurts so bad. I guess its my fault for lapsing on mt meds and appointments. When she passed i just lost track of everything
Sorry for the rambling im just its just all too much right now

 

[sineclamor]

Oof, I'm sorry. I didn't think that video would upset anyone. Hope you're feeling better now.

Oh nah, video didn't put me there. Booze and anxiety did. Just made me think heh. Still can't sleep, considering ER. I've needed to go for a while to try to get klonopin rx. Now is probably the time. Shits gonna kinda hit the fan if I do tho. Well.. not that bad I guess, everyone already knows. Or I could get a staph infection and die. That's where my brain is.

 

[Violet_0]

I found this video about ADHD (it's a part of a longer presentation) on Reddit yesterday and I've been thinking about it ever since. I've had issues like that since forever. Not just with school or university, but also with my hobbies. I hardly ever finish games that I start, I rarely finish (as in, get into a state where it's useful for me or someone else) programming projects that I do privately and so on. I don't think I have (or ever had) the other issues that are commonly associated with ADHD but I've been thinking about going to a therapist to talk about this. I went to therapy from ~2012-2014 for some mild anxiety issues. I've been thinking about going again and looking into this because it's been especially rough for the last couple of months. I just can't get shit done.

this is a good video

I'm fairly certain that I might have it as well, problem is (in Germany, at least) it's still mostly treated as something that affects only children. There are a handful of clinics that will diagnose and treat adults, but they are overrun and don't accept patients that haven't been screened by a psychiatrists first anymore. Which probably isn't that bad of an idea, but the signs are different for adults than they are for children and lots of psychatrist don't know it since, again, they mostly only work with children that have ADHD. I'm normally a very calm person, don't show any outward signs of hyperactivity (never much did as a kid, either), don't drink much alcohol or do drugs aside from cigarettes - which is what they are normally looking for

yet I stuggled academically to a ridicules degree, changed schools often, failed plenty of classes, drop out of more than a handful of studies after 1-2 semesters doing barely any course work, abandoned nearly all projects I ever started, always wait for the very last moment to half-ass some tasks if at all, can't push myself to pursue my non-passive hobbies most days - though when I finally do, I can spent dozen of hours on them - just never in any planned, productive way. Same with reading; if I decide to sit down and read a book, I pretty much have to do so from start to finish and then don't touch another one for many months. Never learned more than a half a day perhaps for anything. Never had a job besides doing some mindless stadium security work a couple of times, didn't need to either since money was never a real problem. Completely without structure, all chaos. So either I'm incredibly stupid, incredibly "lazy" or I might in fact have a concentration problem after all that causes havoc in my life

I'm going to start another study this Fall, this time "for real". I plan to get myself checked before then or it might just be doomed to fail yet again. If I don't have ADHD, then someone needs to tell me at least what the hell else is going on. Gonna bookmark this vid and show it to the psychatrist if necessary. They probably just expect some complete maniac who has no control over their impulses and works out 24/7

anyway, this post was an uncharacteristically personal for me

 

[beau_beaumont]

For the other bipolar folks around here, have any of you ever heard voices? Well, that happened to me last night and it freaked me out pretty bad. I was just sitting there watching tv, and I wasn't depressed or anything, but I heard a woman's voice whisper "you've made some bad decisions." as clear as day. It wasn't my phone and no one else was in the room. I rewound my dvr over and over again and it wasn't what I was watching.

It has me freaked out and frankly kind of paranoid it's going to happen again. Even when I've been manic and delusional, I've never lost touch with reality. Now I'm worried I'll lose that too. Please tell me I'm not the only person who's experienced this.

 

[Slick Butter]

Shit man, I can't get out of it. Been in a state of near constant panic since Wednesday. I dunno what to do. I've never been like this before. I can't tell if my health worries are real concerns or not. The GI bleeding I thought I had was a false alarm but I can't calm down and I can't focus because now my minds gone to worrying about other things.
It's hard because what I'm worried about seems real and it's not something with a lot of symptoms anyway. But other things I've been worried about have seemed real as well but then aren't. Maybe I should ask my doc anyway? I feel like my mind's breaking down from all this panicking but I can't stop it.
I'm scared that if I do stop worrying about this whether through going to the doc or just chilling out that I'll just keep moving on to other things. I also wonder if the meds that I started could be causing more worrying? I've been anxious, and even moreso than normal this weekend, but now it's out of control.
It's fucked up, I can't have a single moment where my mind is clear of everything I've been worrying about. I know I must have some health anxiety or hypochondria or something, but I absolutely have not been able to convince my mind that my worrying is unwarranted.
Why's this all happening now, I was fairly healthy mentally before. I want to just do what I do, but now I can't.

 

[brianjones]

really trying not to be negative all the time but life is such a fucking letdown

I build things up in my head and they never play out that way and I'm always left thinking why do I even bother

I think the key is to never expect things from people and that hope is a dangerous thing to quote shawshank (lol)

 

[CortexVortex]

Yesterday, I've had a pretty awesome gaming tournament with three of my friends which I organized. We all had an amazing time but when they left at 6am I felt strange.
Well, went to bed but now it's even worse. I feel extremely lonely (which is weird, given that I just spend 10 hours with friends) and I'm currently thinking of giving up.

Even going to the Gym feels pointless. Why should I bother anymore?
I don't have any hope left that my life will turn out okay. I fucked up and this is it. I wish I could go back in time to just enjoy one more good day. I just want to be truly happy once more. Seriously, that's all I want - but it's not possible.
Maybe I really should give up... I don't know.

 

[peanutbutterlatte]

Hey guys, posted this in the Dating thread but it seems more appropriate here.

So I guess this isn't a dating question so much as a self esteem question.

I have a history of beating myself up; not just in relationships but generally. At work when I get feedback they say I'm way too self critical, I seem to really worry and stress about every single thing.

The thing is, that attitude is now destroying my relationship. Been seeing a girl about six months now, and it's by far the best relationship I've ever been in. We've connected really well, she is very caring and supportive, and until now the positives have meant that I've not really been worrying or stressing too much.

However, the last week a bunch of insecurities have reared their head (I was badly cheated on in a last relationship, and constantly put down/made to feel like shit for five years), and my SO has expressed some concerns with my "stress head" side, which she's only seen glimpses of before. She said if I kept acting like this I'd end up pushing her away, as she felt like she could only reassure or tell me so many times.

I feel like I'm making my relationship toxic through self-doubt and low self esteem, how do I stop this destructive cycle I've got myself in?

 

[Zeyphersan]

About a year and a half ago, I told my soon-to-be girlfriend that I didn't feel like I as a person was going to live past the age of 23. I was 21 at the time, almost 22. Well now I'm 23, that relationship is dead, and I am still can't shake the feeling that yeah, this is my last year alive. That I just wasn't meant to make it to 24 years old. The feeling is stronger right now than it ever has been. The feeling has been haunting me for a couple years now and now that I'm here, I just feel like I've kinda gotten to as far as I'm gonna go. Sometime between now and six months from now it'll be over.

However, the last week a bunch of insecurities have reared their head (I was badly cheated on in a last relationship, and constantly put down/made to feel like shit for five years), and my SO has expressed some concerns with my "stress head" side, which she's only seen glimpses of before. She said if I kept acting like this I'd end up pushing her away, as she felt like she could only reassure or tell me so many times.

I feel like I'm making my relationship toxic through self-doubt and low self esteem, how do I stop this destructive cycle I've got myself in?

This is a very real thing, and it needs to be taken seriously. It's one of the main reasons I broke up with my last girlfriend. She was very insecure and treated me poorly and assumed things about me and how I would act because of it. And the thing was I recognized that it was all internal, that is was all things that she was feeling within herself, but they manifested themselves externally and changed how she was towards me within the relationship. And the fights happened again and again and the entire time I never felt like she trusted me, so I eventually had to end it. I didn't want to. I took no joy in it and the entire process has sent me into a downward spiral that I have yet to recover from and likely never will, but I felt like I had no choice. Things weren't changing and I could only stand so many fights where I had to tell her for the millionth time that I wasn't going to cheat on her or up and leave her one day.

Seek some outside help if you need to, because that is really truly toxic to a relationship.

 

[Sesha]

Hey guys, posted this in the Dating thread but it seems more appropriate here.

So I guess this isn't a dating question so much as a self esteem question.

I have a history of beating myself up; not just in relationships but generally. At work when I get feedback they say I'm way too self critical, I seem to really worry and stress about every single thing.

The thing is, that attitude is now destroying my relationship. Been seeing a girl about six months now, and it's by far the best relationship I've ever been in. We've connected really well, she is very caring and supportive, and until now the positives have meant that I've not really been worrying or stressing too much.

However, the last week a bunch of insecurities have reared their head (I was badly cheated on in a last relationship, and constantly put down/made to feel like shit for five years), and my SO has expressed some concerns with my "stress head" side, which she's only seen glimpses of before. She said if I kept acting like this I'd end up pushing her away, as she felt like she could only reassure or tell me so many times.

I feel like I'm making my relationship toxic through self-doubt and low self esteem, how do I stop this destructive cycle I've got myself in?

Go see a therapist. Have them help you work it out. It sounds like you're still carrying the pain and frustration from your last relationship. You will need to work with them to recognize the harmful or potentially harmful aspects of your behavior and your thought patterns and help you work on fixing it. Beyond that, from what you describe, you might have some form of anxiety, and/or some aspects of a negative self image. It's possible your last relationship isn't even the source of what's bothering you, but that it merely made something that was already there worse. Or it's unrelated but you have things that happen to work in tandem that ultimately results in certain related behaviors and thought patterns. Potentially some form of trauma. Don't take anything I've said as a diagnosis, though. I don't have any formal qualifications. Ultimately you with your therapist will figure it out.

 

[Collete]

Has anyone had experience with starting on Wellbutrin?

Currently it's my 5th day on it (150mg starting dose) and I've been bombarded with horrible OCD-like anxiety and thoughts.
I have anxiety and fears, but they usually are calmed by reasoning but...this is on a level I can't even handle....

Did anyone else experience this and did it fade in time?
If not and if I get off of this, will I return back to normal from these fears?...

I messaged my doctor about this and waiting word but...It's just been really hard living with this...

 

[Slick Butter]

Has anyone had experience with starting on Wellbutrin?

Currently it's my 5th day on it (150mg starting dose) and I've been bombarded with horrible OCD-like anxiety and thoughts.
I have anxiety and fears, but they usually are calmed by reasoning but...this is on a level I can't even handle....

Did anyone else experience this and did it fade in time?
If not and if I get off of this, will I return back to normal from these fears?...

I messaged my doctor about this and waiting word but...It's just been really hard living with this...

Sorry I have no clue. But this is almost how I've felt since starting Lexapro, although I'm not sure it could be related, since I'm told you can't see side effects until the medication takes effect, which takes a couple weeks.

 

[redlegs87]

Has anyone had experience with starting on Wellbutrin?

Currently it's my 5th day on it (150mg starting dose) and I've been bombarded with horrible OCD-like anxiety and thoughts.
I have anxiety and fears, but they usually are calmed by reasoning but...this is on a level I can't even handle....

Did anyone else experience this and did it fade in time?
If not and if I get off of this, will I return back to normal from these fears?...

I messaged my doctor about this and waiting word but...It's just been really hard living with this...

Are you on anything else other than wellbutrin? I have been taking Wellbutrin for some time now and have never experienced any kind of anxiety/ocd type thoughts. I am currently on 300mg and it's working wonders for me. Then again it can interact differently with anyone.

 

[Collete]

Are you on anything else other than wellbutrin? I have been taking Wellbutrin for some time now and have never experienced any kind of anxiety/ocd type thoughts. I am currently on 300mg and it's working wonders for me. Then again it can interact differently with anyone.

I was on prozac for months, but it hasn't been helping me much.

It's just wellbutrin for time being. I know I have anxiety problems and me overthinking things. But I didn't have any OCD like stages before last week (on the last day of prozac i had an OCD like thought and freaked out and stopped taking thinking Prozac was the cause...then it snowballed from there to other thoughts as soon as i started taking wellbutrin)

 

[Lemaitre]

Well yesterday I finally got a stimulant prescribed. Since starting my mood stabilizer I have not had a manic episode nor exploded at anyone. It's been pretty nice to be honest. But now with the stimulant I hope it can help my impulsivity and ability to focus.

I had predicted he'd give me Ritalin first and I was absolutely correct. Immediate release at only 5mg to start. I do feel it with just the 5mg but some time I'll try taking 10mg. Anyone here have experiences with Ritalin and/or other stimulants?

 

[redlegs87]

I was on prozac for months, but it hasn't been helping me much.

It's just wellbutrin for time being. I know I have anxiety problems and me overthinking things. But I didn't have any OCD like stages before last week (on the last day of prozac i had an OCD like thought and freaked out and stopped taking thinking Prozac was the cause...then it snowballed from there to other thoughts as soon as i started taking wellbutrin)

Hmm maybe call the doctor and see what he says.

Well yesterday I finally got a stimulant prescribed. Since starting my mood stabilizer I have not had a manic episode nor exploded at anyone. It's been pretty nice to be honest. But now with the stimulant I hope it can help my impulsivity and ability to focus.

I had predicted he'd give me Ritalin first and I was absolutely correct. Immediate release at only 5mg to start. I do feel it with just the 5mg but some time I'll try taking 10mg. Anyone here have experiences with Ritalin and/or other stimulants?

Are you on just regular Ritalin or the extended release version? I am on 36 mg of Concerta which is the extended release version. It makes my concentration night and day and hasn't made me manic or anything since starting taking it.

 

[Mastermind Vade]

Join a club. My kid is in high school and they have after school clubs once a week with late busses for club attendees. They have anime club, Nintendo/video game playing club, creative writing club, etcetera, so you may even be able to find something non-academic that'll help you make friends if you're not into Sports, Chess, or Mathletics. If you're LGBT+, see if your school has a GLAAD chapter.

School's out for the summer right now in the US, so if you live in another region? Not sure. Is it something you could talk to a guidance counselor about?

I definitely do not recommend how I handed it.

I don't know about that. I'm in my second last year so everybody's already found a place where they belong so trying to finagle myself into any already existing groups would be hard. I've always been pretty shy and never really was a part of any cliques or any social circle so I may not understand how those work.

I already talked to my guidance counselor and she's been consistently checking up on me to make sure I wasn't planning on doing anything and have pushed me to get some help(she didn't give me a referral herself but pushed me to go to my family doctor to get one because it's late into the year and it'd take longer if she were to give me a referral). I am now waiting for a phone call to book an appointment with a psychiatrist.

Sorry to continue my rant, but I really feel like I need to get this out somewhere. As I've said before, I've never really belonged to any sort of social circle and now I really feel like it's actually affecting me. Being lonely has never really bothered me in the past but it has never been a concern. Thinking about my future I hear people say "do what makes you happy" or "do a job you'd do for free" but I don't know what I even want to do or what I want in general. I don't have a goal or anything. So I started looking further into what I should do with my future and hear some more sayings about how life should be about "making those around you happy". Reflecting on this I realize that I don't have anybody "around" me. Besides my family which I am already sort of detached with, I have no one.

Realizing this issue I start to try making some friends and be less of a quiet loner in the back. The more I talk and the more I try to be nice, the further I feel I am from my classmates. In recent group projects, I've tried to be more vocal of my ideas and be more active in my contributions. The superficiality they've displayed when turning down my ideas whilst trying to be nice hurts. It's not the fact that they don't like me that hurts but the fact that they don't even think of me as a peer, an equal; I am lower than them. The few that have been genuinely nice to me have provided and showed the same level of superficiality I feel as those who do clearly dislike me, they probably pity me.

I don't know what I did but it must be pretty bad considering how I'm pretty much shunned by society now.

Have you guys been in my situation? What was there for you in the future? Why?

edit: Also been reading what you've guys have to say in this thread and lurking

 

[Lemaitre]

Are you on just regular Ritalin or the extended release version? I am on 36 mg of Concerta which is the extended release version. It makes my concentration night and day and hasn't made me manic or anything since starting taking it.

Btw are you bipolar? There is a slight increased risk for people with mood disorders. Or those with past substance abuse. I'm sure my dosage will increase if I stay on it, though I'm not sure how high I could go. I have a female friend who takes 40mg of Methylphenidate, but that seems like a lot.

I'm on immediate release Methyphenidate right now, but I've read that people like both for different reasons. I would eventually like to transition to adderall tbh, as it lasts longer than Methylphenidate. Oh yeah I also had them prescribe me propranolol to keep me calm on the stimulant. If I didnt take it I'd be a sweaty/shakey mess; at least that's how I feel on coffee anyways, which is a lot weaker than any stimulant.

Funny enough before I finally got my Methylphenidate I was up to about 3-4 cups of coffee a day. When I took my first pill, that's only 5mg, I felt focused but not jittery like how all that coffee would make me feel. My beta blocker (propranolol) helps with my physical symptoms of anxiety, but today was great just because my mental anxiety was non existence. The effect is sort of how I felt the first time on my mood stabilizer, a kind of focused contented calm. I haven't felt bored at all today either, I've been actively jumping from one task to another. Ridding myself of anxiety is pretty nice though. So if this keeps up I wonder if my anxiety was exasperated by my ADHD (if I do indeed actually have it).

 

[redlegs87]

Btw are you bipolar? There is a slight increased risk for people with mood disorders. Or those with past substance abuse. I'm sure my dosage will increase if I stay on it, though I'm not sure how high I could go. I have a female friend who takes 40mg of Methylphenidate, but that seems like a lot.

I'm on immediate release Methyphenidate right now, but I've read that people like both for different reasons. I would eventually like to transition to adderall tbh, as it lasts longer than Methylphenidate. Oh yeah I also had them prescribe me propranolol to keep me calm on the stimulant. If I didnt take it I'd be a sweaty/shakey mess; at least that's how I feel on coffee anyways, which is a lot weaker than any stimulant.

Funny enough before I finally got my Methylphenidate I was up to about 3-4 cups of coffee a day. When I took my first pill, that's only 5mg, I felt focused but not jittery like how all that coffee would make me feel. My beta blocker (propranolol) helps with my physical symptoms of anxiety, but today was great just because my mental anxiety was non existence. The effect is sort of how I felt the first time on my mood stabilizer, a kind of focused contented calm. I haven't felt bored at all today either, I've been actively jumping from one task to another. Ridding myself of anxiety is pretty nice though. So if this keeps up I wonder if my anxiety was exasperated by my ADHD (if I do indeed actually have it).

Yes I take Geodon for bi-polarism though I feel as though my bi-polar disorder has evened out as I have gotten older.

 

[sam12]

I don't even recognize my face anymore. I look at pictures from 10 years back, before this trauma, and I wish I could be that person. Was always enthusiastic, positive and smiling. I am now left with a cracked shell of that person.

 

[opticalmace]

I don't even recognize my face anymore. I look at pictures from 10 years back, before this trauma, and I wish I could be that person. Was always enthusiastic, positive and smiling. I am now left with a cracked shell of that person.

I don't know what trauma you're referring to, but looking at stuff in the past will always give it a tint. I can think back on fond memories but it's easy to forget what things were like day to day. Even when things were great it wasn't all positive. Life can be hard.

Try to focus on the fact that you can make choices to enjoy the future, rather than lament the past. I know it's hard. I'm not struggling at the moment but definitely do so off and on. You are still the person you were before, even if circumstances change. You just have a different perspective now.

 

[shawnbuddy]

I fell asleep during a break at work today and had a dream that I put a gun in my mouth. It was super realistic, like I could feel the coldness of the metal, and oddly comforting. It felt good, it felt right. I don't remember shooting myself in the dream. It's odd because I've been less constructively suicidal recently, no more scoping out tall buildings or window shopping for shotguns at Wal-Mart.

 

[Yoshimitsu126]

Trying to move on from stupidly putting myself into one sided relationship in the most comical way ever. But I can't use my go to soundtrack anymore because it reminds me of the mess I got into... And the soundtrack has songs that are amazingly comforting.

Guess I'll just try to keep myself busy and use my video game soundtrack.

I fell asleep during a break at work today and had a dream that I put a gun in my mouth. It was super realistic, like I could feel the coldness of the metal, and oddly comforting. It felt good, it felt right. I don't remember shooting myself in the dream. It's odd because I've been less constructively suicidal recently, no more scoping out tall buildings or window shopping for shotguns at Wal-Mart.

If you think about the dream right now, do you still feel like it felt right?

 

[kaskade]

I'm trying to find a psychiatrist, and it's kind of difficult. I went through my insurance's find a doctor page and there's a few local ones but then I give them a google and they all seem to not have that great of reviews. Most people just have low ratings but there aren't many with actual reviews.

 

[ERotIC]

Has anyone had experience with starting on Wellbutrin?

Currently it's my 5th day on it (150mg starting dose) and I've been bombarded with horrible OCD-like anxiety and thoughts.
I have anxiety and fears, but they usually are calmed by reasoning but...this is on a level I can't even handle....

Did anyone else experience this and did it fade in time?
If not and if I get off of this, will I return back to normal from these fears?...

I messaged my doctor about this and waiting word but...It's just been really hard living with this...

I was on Wellbutrin briefly, and like every other antidepressant, it's going to make things a hell of a lot more uncomfortable for a few weeks until it stabilizes in your body.

 

[Widdle Puppy]

I'm thinking of going to the doctor and asking for xanax. I don't have panic attacks but I have chronic anxiety and it makes it hard for me to express myself

I also have vyvanse for ADHD.

Does anyone have ADHD, anxiety and depression. What medications do you take?

 

[redlegs87]

I'm thinking of going to the doctor and asking for xanax. I don't have panic attacks but I have chronic anxiety and it makes it hard for me to express myself

I also have vyvanse for ADHD.

Does anyone have ADHD, anxiety and depression. What medications do you take?

I take Wellbutrin for the depression and anxiety, then Geodon for bi-polar disorder and methylphenidate (Ritalin) for ADHD. It's a potent cocktail so far and has been slightly tweaked over time but it's holding strong for me.

 

[Magwik]

Two weeks into work after 6 months off isn't so bad. I've fallen into old bad habits of wanting to spend my money on junk to feel better about myself. Forgot how lonely it is to be working until 3am. At least when I wasn't working I always could count on playing some games with my friends. Now I'm just here bound to my phone with nobody to talk to.

Don't really feel compelled to date, yet I'm still on Tinder/OkCupid with no real success. Nothing appealing about an average dude who isn't even sure what he wants.

Mentally I'm sound, and am confident I've got all of my marbles in check, even if I so feel a tad detached. So I'm just rambling here I suppose.

Exercise and diet is going well, down nearly 30 pounds from March 31st. So I'm back down to the weight ive been stuck at for years.

It's just rough being lonely yet not wanting to/ready for another relationship.

 

[ERotIC]

It's just rough being lonely yet not wanting to/ready for another relationship.

From my experience, being lonely is definitely an alternative to getting into a situation that you're not ready to deal with.

We're definitely conditioned and pressured to be social at all times and forget what it's like to get away from it all for a while. Try to view the time alone as a comfort that you're working on other shit right now.

 

[ERotIC]

As someone who's gone through a seriously rough couple of months due to possible Bipolar II disorder, I've been throwing around the idea in my head to start a YouTube channel dedicated to 1. Keeping a sort of journal/confessional about what I've been dealing with and my updates to recovering and 2. Opening up a correspondence where I invite people to send their own stories regarding mental health that I'd talk about on videos in sort of a Dear Abby kinda fashion.

I'm curious what you guys think about that idea, if that's something you'd personally feel would be helpful/cathartic and would actually like to watch. I'm obviously just playing with the idea and haven't worked out the details on it, but it seems like it'd be a good theraputic side project for me to give a shot.

 

[bluethree]

insomnia and anxiety are so frustrating to deal with. I've mostly been doing very well with life lately...haven't posted or visited this thread in a while...but there've been some things at work that made me think my job isn't as secure as I thought so some of my old sleeping problems are popping back up.

 

[Ohnonono]

When I get big time anxiety/panic attacks I have never really found a holistic way to calm my nerves. They get pretty extreme though. After getting off of it a couple of times I have had a very very conservative Psychiatrist pretty much just say "Hey man, some people really do need the Xanax to level things out." I have to be pretty careful, but it has made a world of difference in my life.

 

[Yung Dolphin]

Are we allowed to vent here? I need to see a therapist to talk thru some stuff but cannot afford one.

 

[Yung Dolphin]

Just read the OP for clarification. Sorry about that.

For starters, does anyone have any recommendations/advice for finding new friends in your late thirties?

I'm a 29 year old male that struggles with addiction, anxiety, and depression. I've been with my GF for ~14 years and we are at a transitional period in her life, she is going to college and making tons of new friends.

I don't have any friends or family for that matter, everyone in my life except for her and my daughter have burned my ass with one-sided relationships and a couple years ago I basically went to the mindset that I don't really need anyone except for them.

I still believe that to be true.

Me and my GF had a deep conversation last week about my fear of her leaving me because of her newfound excitement and my self-consciousness (not really where I want to be in my career/life for almost turning 30) and she said she wants to grow old with me but needs me to find some friends. "I can't be your whole world".

Any advice?

 

[Menthuss]

Just read the OP for clarification. Sorry about that.

For starters, does anyone have any recommendations/advice for finding new friends in your late thirties?

I'm a 29 year old male that struggles with addiction, anxiety, and depression. I've been with my GF for ~14 years and we are at a transitional period in her life, she is going to college and making tons of new friends.

I don't have any friends or family for that matter, everyone in my life except for her and my daughter have burned my ass with one-sided relationships and a couple years ago I basically went to the mindset that I don't really need anyone except for them.

I still believe that to be true.

Me and my GF had a deep conversation last week about my fear of her leaving me because of her newfound excitement and my self-consciousness (not really where I want to be in my career/life for almost turning 30) and she said she wants to grow old with me but needs me to find some friends. "I can't be your whole world".

Any advice?

How are you combating the anxiety and depression? Besides seeing a therapist to help fight your issues, I guess a common thing to try would be to find people that have the same interests as you. Meetup.com might be able to help you out there.

Of course, how easy this'll be is mostly going to depend on how well you're managing your anxiety and depression at the moment.

 

[Yung Dolphin]

How are you combating the anxiety and depression? Besides seeing a therapist to help fight your issues, I guess a common thing to try would be to find people that have the same interests as you. Meetup.com might be able to help you out there.

Of course, how easy this'll be is mostly going to depend on how well you're managing your anxiety and depression at the moment.

Really just burying everything in the back of my mind. I tried to find the right medication cocktail for about 3 years and was tired of spending money and facing side effects with little payoff.

 

[Menthuss]

Really just burying everything in the back of my mind. I tried to find the right medication cocktail for about 3 years and was tired of spending money and facing side effects with little payoff.

Mmhm. I don't take medication myself so I can't really offer advice besides recommending that you keep looking I guess. Medication does seem to be the best solution to addressing that chemical imbalance that depression gives you, from what I've heard.

Avoiding your issues isn't the solution though. Take it from me, I found that out the hard way. Definitely try and find a therapist (preferably one your insurance covers). It might take a while to find one that clicks with you but it's certainly worth it.

 

[Yung Dolphin]

Mmhm. I don't take medication myself so I can't really offer advice besides recommending that you keep looking I guess. Medication does seem to be the best solution to addressing that chemical imbalance that depression gives you, from what I've heard.

Avoiding your issues isn't the solution though. Take it from me, I found that out the hard way. Definitely try and find a therapist (preferably one your insurance covers). It might take a while to find one that clicks with you but it's certainly worth it.

Thank you

 

[jb1234]

Just read the OP for clarification. Sorry about that.

For starters, does anyone have any recommendations/advice for finding new friends in your late thirties?

I'm a 29 year old male that struggles with addiction, anxiety, and depression. I've been with my GF for ~14 years and we are at a transitional period in her life, she is going to college and making tons of new friends.

I don't have any friends or family for that matter, everyone in my life except for her and my daughter have burned my ass with one-sided relationships and a couple years ago I basically went to the mindset that I don't really need anyone except for them.

I still believe that to be true.

Me and my GF had a deep conversation last week about my fear of her leaving me because of her newfound excitement and my self-consciousness (not really where I want to be in my career/life for almost turning 30) and she said she wants to grow old with me but needs me to find some friends. "I can't be your whole world".

Any advice?

I agree with her that it's not wise to put all your eggs in one basket. You need to have more people in your life so that you're not putting all that pressure on your SO to provide all of your needs. She returned to college. Is it an option for you to as well? It's definitely easiest to make friends in that kind of setting.

Otherwise, yeah. Meetup is an option, especially if you live in a city. I also agree that therapy would be a good idea, if you don't want to keep experimenting with meds (and even if you do). It's definitely harder to make long-lasting friends as you age but it's not impossible and there are options.

 

[Flying Toaster]

Just read the OP for clarification. Sorry about that.

For starters, does anyone have any recommendations/advice for finding new friends in your late thirties?

Meetup or finding things associated with your career helps a lot. For example I am in IT and I have started to do group things associated with my specialty in my local area so I am meeting people I would not normally meet that have similar interests at least work wise as I do. Exercise such as running/jogging or bicycling you can connect with people that way at local shops that host events in your area. What do you like to do? What do you spend your time doing? Try to focus on those things and branch out with people that share similar hobbies.

I know that sounds lame and stupid but honestly thats how people typically meet and friendships form. Social dynamics and circles revolve around what you usually do and a lot of people have friendships that start in college or school of some sort because it a large area of people sharing similar interests.

It is hard for me to meet people and actually make friends. The list of friends that I do have can't even be counted on one hand but we are a close group of people that share very similar interests and over time bonded just by being in each others lives and helping each other out over the years. It is awesome of your girlfriend to point out and set boundaries and discuss these things with you. Most relationships don't even have that.

 

[ERotIC]

Just read the OP for clarification. Sorry about that.

For starters, does anyone have any recommendations/advice for finding new friends in your late thirties?

I'm a 29 year old male that struggles with addiction, anxiety, and depression. I've been with my GF for ~14 years and we are at a transitional period in her life, she is going to college and making tons of new friends.

I don't have any friends or family for that matter, everyone in my life except for her and my daughter have burned my ass with one-sided relationships and a couple years ago I basically went to the mindset that I don't really need anyone except for them.

I still believe that to be true.

Me and my GF had a deep conversation last week about my fear of her leaving me because of her newfound excitement and my self-consciousness (not really where I want to be in my career/life for almost turning 30) and she said she wants to grow old with me but needs me to find some friends. "I can't be your whole world".

Any advice?

Your best bet might be to focus on things that you enjoy doing and trying to find like-minded people through that avenue. Like local music? Hang out at the local dive stage. Into poker? Make invitation flyers for some Sit N' Go action on Saturday nights. If you're in a big city, there's probably a forum dedicated to people discussing events.

 

[ERotIC]

Well, I bit the bullet and made a YouTube channel dedicated to discussing mental illness.

I spent twelve hours in a hypomanic state filming, re-filming, editing and uploading my first video which is all about me talking about my bipolar. It's fucking terrifying putting it out there, but I honestly feel really good about undergoing a project to help myself cope with a rough situation.

It's totally amateur and poorly done right now, but I'm hoping that I can turn it into a channel dedicated to sharing other people's struggles with mental and psychological issues. I'm just getting over the high of not sleeping in two days and spilling my guts on video.

 

[Lemaitre]

When I get big time anxiety/panic attacks I have never really found a holistic way to calm my nerves. They get pretty extreme though. After getting off of it a couple of times I have had a very very conservative Psychiatrist pretty much just say "Hey man, some people really do need the Xanax to level things out." I have to be pretty careful, but it has made a world of difference in my life.

Even if a doctor gives you a long term prescription for Xanax it does not necessarily mean they are doing you any favors. Long term use of benzodiazepine drugs can have debilitating effects on your mental health among other issues. Your best bet is to find an anti-depressant that works for you. Have you tried using two anti-depressants yet like Wellburtin (NDRI) and Paxil (SSRI)? I'd suggest trying that kind of combo before committing to long term use of Xanax. Good luck though and I hope you find that balance you need.

I'm thinking of going to the doctor and asking for xanax. I don't have panic attacks but I have chronic anxiety and it makes it hard for me to express myself

I also have vyvanse for ADHD.

Does anyone have ADHD, anxiety and depression. What medications do you take?

For anxiety I take Paxil 20mg and the addition of Ritalin has also nearly completely destroyed the rest of my anxiety. Remember that stimulants can increase anxiety (like coffee) so having a beta-blocker might help keep your anxiety down? I take 20mg of Inderal twice a day which levels out the effects of the Ritalin. Do you have experience with other stimulants beyond Vyvanse? Also, as I have already addressed to another poster please know that Xanax use is only short term. You need to figure out what is causing your underlying anxiety, and even though Xanax is an easy answer in the short term your anxiety will be exasperated for having used it.



As for me, having started Methylphenidate (a.k.a. Ritalin) it has made a continued drastic reduction upon my anxiety. I can hold conversations with folks longer, and I no longer fret about maintaining eye contact or saying the right thing. I no longer am spending the majority of my days lost in thought but I am actually...doing things! I can actually concentrate and read, and retain way more information. In total I am now on four drugs: Lamictal 100mg, Paxil 20mg, Inderal 20mg, and Ritalin 5mg. It's amazing how big a difference even 5mg makes for me, and I'm excited to up my dose or even transition to Dextroamphetamine (Adderall).

Having said that, does anyone here have experience moving from Ritalin to Adderall or how that process came about for you? According to some brief research I did Ritalin is usually the first stimulant given since it lasts only 2-3 hours (vs. Adderall's 4-6). After seeing such drastic results in six days I would definitely like a longer lasting stimulant.

 

[Magwik]

"now that you're back at work we want to be able to work with you in case anything goes wrong again or comes up"
"Can I not work this overtime day?"
"No"

I hate all

 

[Joqu]

Man, I've been feeling rough again lately. Lots of negative thoughts, zero motivation, general sadness, that sort of stuff. I honestly don't know what to do, and no I haven't been diagnosed with anything but I know this isn't okay. I know people will recommend seeing a professional and I get that, but I've only had bad experiences with them and I'm no longer willing to put up with that. But like, then what do you do at that point? I don't know.

Somewhat related because I've brought it up with the professionals I've seen in the past, who weren't much help: I've got a strong suspicion something's wrong with me that involves more than just some social awkwardness. I'm really thinking I'm on the spectrum in some way. But I've been looking into how to get tested, because I do want some answers in regards to that, and I've come to the conclusion that I just can't afford it here, it's that expensive for me. I'll continue doing some research but the alternatives I'm seeing don't seem to be aimed at adults. I wish this had been looked into when I was a child, but my mother has never been keen on these things... But I know she's had similar suspicions, as have the schools I've gone to. I know self-diagnosing is frowned upon but I can tell you all these online tests have been confirming my suspicions, which isn't helping to be honest. It's eating away at me.

Anyway, I don't know what the fuck to do, I'm just venting here without actually wanting to get into the details. But I'm not feeling okay, and no one is listening. I guess I'll just cry some more, that helps.

 

[Desperado]

Well, I bit the bullet and made a YouTube channel dedicated to discussing mental illness.

I spent twelve hours in a hypomanic state filming, re-filming, editing and uploading my first video which is all about me talking about my bipolar. It's fucking terrifying putting it out there, but I honestly feel really good about undergoing a project to help myself cope with a rough situation.

It's totally amateur and poorly done right now, but I'm hoping that I can turn it into a channel dedicated to sharing other people's struggles with mental and psychological issues. I'm just getting over the high of not sleeping in two days and spilling my guts on video.

Wow congrats! Would be interested to watch if you want to PM a link.

 

[Ultima_5]

soooo i've never done anything like this before but i think i need too start seeing someone. i've been kinda depressed for the last few years but it's been kinda bad lately and it's starting too affect my relationships with others. i think i have depression. how do i go about getting help? i kinda skimmed the first post

 

[redlegs87]

soooo i've never done anything like this before but i think i need too start seeing someone. i've been kinda depressed for the last few years but it's been kinda bad lately and it's starting too affect my relationships with others. i think i have depression. how do i go about getting help? i kinda skimmed the first post

Depends on where you live on how to go about it. Where are you located?

 

[Ultima_5]

Depends on where you live on how to go about it. Where are you located?

i'm in KC so i assume i have a decent amount of options

i think some sort of therapy or doctor or something. i have insurance so i'm hoping that covers some of it

 

[redlegs87]

i'm in KC so i assume i have a decent amount of options

i think some sort of therapy or doctor or something. i have insurance so i'm hoping that covers some of it

I'd check your insurances website or give them a call and ask which mental health providers take your insurance that's where I started.