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ParentGaf OT: Birth, Bib and Beyond
- Thread starter User 100115
- Start date
Im pretty proud of my 16 year old daughter. She is doing very good in school and she got herself a job at a veterinary hospital several months ago.
As for my little ones, its not going to great. I don't get to see them, I only talk to them on the phone. My 8 year old son loves to talk to me and he misses me a lot. My 5 year old daughter doesn't ever want to talk to me and she even said she never wants to talk to me again. That hurts.
Anyhow, they are both doing great in school. They spend most of their time with Grandpa and he is wonderful.
As for my little ones, its not going to great. I don't get to see them, I only talk to them on the phone. My 8 year old son loves to talk to me and he misses me a lot. My 5 year old daughter doesn't ever want to talk to me and she even said she never wants to talk to me again. That hurts.
Anyhow, they are both doing great in school. They spend most of their time with Grandpa and he is wonderful.
H.Protagonist
[-_-]/
Speaking of baby essentials, got a gift card at my baby shower, but I'm torn.
Stainless steel baby armor or indispensable face-hugger accessory?
Stainless steel baby armor or indispensable face-hugger accessory?
Things I would class as essential...
Cot/Crib - we never bothered with a bassinet and children have always slept in their own rooms. We got a cot that converted to a small bed as well which is super useful until the child is ready to upgrade to a full size bed.
Pram - buy a decent one, but don't be sucked in by the fancy types. Generally they just over complicate everything. We have this is double form and it is excellent. Far better than the one we had for our first child. Folding action is the best I have encountered, just pull up in the middle of the seat.
Change tables aren't really needed imo, or at least ones built for that purpose only. If you can get a bit of furniture with a recess on top to take a change mat or something, we found that worked fine for our first, but when the twins came, just having a portable change mat that honestly lived in the lounge is where we do 90+% of the changes at home.
Apart from that, just a good quality car seat are the only major purchases you need... rest is just consumables and clothing. Zip up suits are your friend, also I am an advocate for zip up swaddles also like this. We just used a regular swaddle (just a little blanket) for our first and yeah, wouldn't go back.
Face hugger.
I will quote this and bold it for emphasis. I feel a wave of relief every time my wife puts our little one in a zip up onesie.... A wave of sadness when it's a button up one.
H.Protagonist
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Glad to hear forgoing the changing table was the right thing to do. For the crib thing, we've gone with a co-sleeper that scooches up next to the bed, but 1) it's more for my peace of mind and 2) I know it'll be useless after 6 months unless I have a second kid. It is supposed to make feeding/sleeping easier, though. Supposed to.
Another +1 for the face hugger. Near unanimous, then.
Excellent. This seems to be the consensus on FB as well. Let it not be said that I didn't give my child everything it needed to succeed in life.
Can confirm after tending after my niece. Button up onsesies are the devil.
Union Carbine
Member
My daughter is about 20 months old. I really hate all the baby/toddler clothes that not only are buttons (and not snap buttons) but also button up in the back. Ugh.
Glad to hear forgoing the changing table was the right thing to do. For the crib thing, we've gone with a co-sleeper that scooches up next to the bed, but 1) it's more for my peace of mind and 2) I know it'll be useless after 6 months unless I have a second kid. It is supposed to make feeding/sleeping easier, though. Supposed to.
Yeah, I think everyone's experiences will vary especially where a baby's sleep patterns are involved. I think also the size / shape / placement of rooms / house also impact this decision a lot.
Funny thing was, my Dad recommended not having the baby in our room for a variety of reasons. I tend to listen in this situation as he doesn't give advice often and generally it's right.
Thankfully it worked out.rocksteady1983
Member
Right there with ya. We have a 4 day old little guy. Same kinda thing. Nights/days are pretty much flipped. I've never been around and held newborns much but I am blown away by how strong he is. He has even been lifting his head off his mothers chest and holding it there for a few seconds. Probably the norm but to me he is the strongest newborn ever lol. Must have been lifting weights in the womb.
Also, still hasn't pooped. He passed some meconium in the womb, and then later the following night he finally passed a little more poop but nothing since then. Plenty of wet diapers though. Waiting till his appointment on Tuesday for his checkup at the pediatrician but may try the thermometer or q-tip trick to see if that will help the poops. Wife has been trying to breast feed but it's been going slow and tough. Not producing a lot at the moment. Been having to supplement a bit.
H.Protagonist
[-_-]/
Yeah, I think everyone's experiences will vary especially where a baby's sleep patterns are involved. I think also the size / shape / placement of rooms / house also impact this decision a lot.
Funny thing was, my Dad recommended not having the baby in our room for a variety of reasons. I tend to listen in this situation as he doesn't give advice often and generally it's right.
For sure. I've heard both sides pretty adamantly argue in favor for or against having the kid in the room. Everything I heard in the states was also against having them in the room, but since coming here I've heard some pretty compelling stuff in the 'for' category. Mostly, though, I'm just hoping it'll help everyone get some sleep (as I can scoop the baby in for a feed with no fuss) and that it will balance out my own first time mom anxiety. Even just watching my baby niece for my sis I used to stare at that monitor or through the door to her room trying to make sure she was breathing. The (mostly irrational) fear is real.
Hoping it works out, at any rate, and glad your sit panned out too. I imagine the twins made things all kinds of crazy/special.Yeah, that's the hope, and the main reason I went for the co-sleeper even though I know it doesn't exactly have longevity. I'm terrible with no sleep and my husband's job is super high stress at the moment, so I'm hoping it'll ease us both into the constant feeding/first time parent thing. I think it'll also be pretty reassuring for me to be able to just open my eyes and see that the baby is OK. Really happy to hear that you guys tried it and it went exactly as I'm hoping it will for me. I know it might not work out exactly like that, but a firsthand account is great to read.
Milksheikhs
Member
HPro, My daughter is almost 6w old now and I can definitely say having a bassinet that allows me to see her and pick her up easily has been a life saver. We live in a 1br apartment so it was never an option to put her in another room, but I think even if it was I wouldn't have done it. I had a different bassinet at first and this one wasn't as close to my bed and it didn't allow me to see her (I had to get up out of my bed to check on her and pick her up if she needed feeding). The bassinet now is so close that it's just so easy if she wakes up to just pick her up from my bed and start feeding her.
Although we've been pretty lucky so far. She usually goes to bed at 12-1am. Wakes up once for feeding and diaper change at 6am and then sleeps again until 10-Noonish.
Although we've been pretty lucky so far. She usually goes to bed at 12-1am. Wakes up once for feeding and diaper change at 6am and then sleeps again until 10-Noonish.
Monkeylord
Member
Just found out this past Fri... we're having a boy
Interfectum
Member
Just found out this past Fri... we're having a boy
Grats.
Going in tomorrow to see the heartbeat for the first time (~7 weeks). Still doesn't feel real and it's pretty early yet.
Monkeylord
Member
If it's anything like our first scan, it still won't quite feel real... even when you hear the heartbeat and see that little Skeletor on the monitor. It's very surreal.
Icefire1424
Member
I don't think it actually felt "real" until the day we got home from the hospital with our daughter. I remember walking into our house, sitting down on the couch with my wife and daughter, looking over at my wife and having that "well, now what?" moment.
H.Protagonist
[-_-]/
Awesome! Most of my American friends/family have been telling me that I've made a mistake here, but I still think it'll set my mind at ease. The ease of just scooping the kid into the bed for a feed then back out also has some serious appeal. I figure I might even get an hour or two of real sleep if it works out.
We got this one:
(This lady looks waaaay too refreshed. I call bull on this 'family'. ^_^)
I'm also really intrigued by your daughter's feeding/sleeping schedule (congrats, btw, it sounds like you won the lottery). People keep telling me that I need to actually wake the kid up to feed it every two hours whether it's asking for food or not, but you said yours only wakes up once for feeding. Is this constant feeding thing only for a week or two or totally not needed...? I'd be more than happy to let the baby set a more...sedate schedule like yours if that's the way it was leaning instead of waking it and myself up constantly.
Just found out this past Fri... we're having a boy
Congrats~
It's probably ranked up there with the pram. Essential baby equipment fo sho.
MMBosstones86
Member
Yup, basically this.
It's been a year and I still can't believe they let us leave the hospital with a kid....
Milksheikhs
Member
Awesome! Most of my American friends/family have been telling me that I've made a mistake here, but I still think it'll set my mind at ease. The ease of just scooping the kid into the bed for a feed then back out also has some serious appeal. I figure I might even get an hour or two of real sleep if it works out.
We got this one:
(This lady looks waaaay too refreshed. I call bull on this 'family'. ^_^)
I'm also really intrigued by your daughter's feeding/sleeping schedule (congrats, btw, it sounds like you won the lottery). People keep telling me that I need to actually wake the kid up to feed it every two hours whether it's asking for food or not, but you said yours only wakes up once for feeding. Is this constant feeding thing only for a week or two or totally not needed...? I'd be more than happy to let the baby set a more...sedate schedule like yours if that's the way it was leaning instead of waking it and myself up constantly.
Wow, what is the name of that cosleeper bassinet? I really wanted something like that but ended up going with the Halo swivel because it was the only one that seemed to have most of the things I wanted.
And lol yes no one is that refreshed
Also, I would say as far as feeding it depends. My daughter was pretty big when she was born (9lbs 6oz) and she only lost 2% of her body weight in the hospital. I asked the doctor and he said I should wake her up until she gets back up to or past her birth weight. I kind of just ignored this because 1) I felt confident she was gaining weight and 2) I was exhausted and didn't want to wake her up when she was sleeping so peacefully.
Most doctors say you should wake them up until they're back at their birth weight. But I say wait and see how your situation is and do what you feel confident and comfortable doing.
Monkeylord
Member
A friend of ours sent us a link on facebook for a local place that rents out those cosleeper cots. Basically, you pay them £69, and then once you're ready they provide you with the cot (complete with new mattress, new sides and 2 free fitted sheets) for as long as you need it. Once you're ready to upgrade you simply hand it back.
http://www.bednest.com/
May be worth looking into. There's probably similar services in other countries too.
http://www.bednest.com/
May be worth looking into. There's probably similar services in other countries too.
H.Protagonist
[-_-]/
Wow, what is the name of that cosleeper bassinet? I really wanted something like that but ended up going with the Halo swivel because it was the only one that seemed to have most of the things I wanted.
And lol yes no one is that refreshed
Also, I would say as far as feeding it depends. My daughter was pretty big when she was born (9lbs 6oz) and she only lost 2% of her body weight in the hospital. I asked the doctor and he said I should wake her up until she gets back up to or past her birth weight. I kind of just ignored this because 1) I felt confident she was gaining weight and 2) I was exhausted and didn't want to wake her up when she was sleeping so peacefully.
Most doctors say you should wake them up until they're back at their birth weight. But I say wait and see how your situation is and do what you feel confident and comfortable doing.
It's called the "Next 2 Me" co-sleeper. It was a bit pricey (IMO. We got it as a gift, but felt bad), but it was exactly what I was looking for. If it works out, and if the first kid doesn't kill us, then I hope to get some more use out of it, too.
For feeding, that sounds entirely practical!
As long as the kid is making gains and not going backwards, I think it's an entirely reasonable approach. Feeding every two hours sounds really fussy to me, but again...I also don't know if that's just me looking for supporting accounts so that I don't have to feed every two hours. ^_^;Anyone else want to share their newborn feeding schedules/plans?
Sounds like a decent deal for what's essentially a 6 month item. Prob a safer bet, too, in case the kid hates it. Since we're moving overseas when ours will be ~3 months old, though, I was happy to just get one, but might be a good option for others.
H.Protagonist
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I'm going to try (for the first couple of months, anyway). It'd be nice if I was able to express some so that my husband can jump in every now and then, but I'm not opposed to mixing if things get ridiculous. Are you saying that the breastfeeding route tends to lead to more feeds/more frequently because the output just isn't enough?
H.Protagonist
[-_-]/
Ah, gotcha. Your poor lady (and you too since you're both doing the round the clock feeding). I've heard oversupply can be quite, ah, uncomfortable.
Man, breastfeeding just sounds like a route fraught with pitfalls. I don't think I know anyone but my mom who hasn't had some kind of issue with it. So much for the natural route being the 'easy' one. The doctor keeps stressing this, but I've yet to hear any encouraging accounts lately. I'm still going to try, but I have to admit that the experiences I've heard plus the somewhat overbearing push in Australia to exclusively breastfeed have soured any enthusiasm I might have had (I'm not personally keen, but it does seem to have many benefits). Hoping for that less 'punishing' experience, at any rate.
I gave up after a month because of how difficult it was (among health stuff). Even though I had insanely much milk, it just didn't work out. It's definitely smart to try, and see how it goes, but breastfeeding is supposed to be bonding and fun. If you get too stressed about it, it really isn't worth it imo. There is the formula guilt, but it will go away. Your baby is happy regardless, and formula is just as good as breastmilk, regardless of what people say. Some babies don't take the bottle though, but one thing at a time. Just try not to worry.Ah, gotcha. Your poor lady (and you too since you're both doing the round the clock feeding). I've heard oversupply can be quite, ah, uncomfortable.
Man, breastfeeding just sounds like a route fraught with pitfalls. I don't think I know anyone but my mom who hasn't had some kind of issue with it. So much for the natural route being the 'easy' one. The doctor keeps stressing this, but I've yet to hear any encouraging accounts lately. I'm still going to try, but I have to admit that the experiences I've heard plus the somewhat overbearing push in Australia to exclusively breastfeed have soured any enthusiasm I might have had (I'm not personally keen, but it does seem to have many benefits). Hoping for that less 'punishing' experience, at any rate.
There are times I wish I was still breastfeeding, like when traveling across the globe with a 4 month old. So yes, it does have many benefits. It's pushed because it builds immunity (like if you are sick, it can keep your baby from catching your cold), and because of how natural it is.
But either way, as long as the baby is happy and healthy, that's what counts. Do what you gotta do. It's perfectly fine to bond with a baby while giving them the bottle - then dad can do it too.
Skellig Gra
Member
My wife is due on the 16th. We finished our "to do" list so we're just waiting around now. The calm before the storm...
RoryDropkick
Member
My wife tried for about a month along with pumping and did not produce, nor did the babies latch on, so it was a frustrating endeavor for her. She's still feeling guilty for that even now, 3 months after the babies have been born. The twins were fed on a combination of formula, whatever my wife could produce and donated milk in the NICU however, so it wasn't like they missed out completely.
JeTmAn81
Member
My wife had a pretty tough time with breastfeeding our daughter. I had to be on hand to help keep the kid in the right position and help her feel comfortable. We had to try nipple shields quite a few times as well. But eventually we got things figured out and nursing became a lot easier.
Now she's 16 months and still nurses but only for about 20 minutes a day, for comfort. She used to nurse for about an hour at a time, more for comfort than sustenance, we think.
We also used a cosleeper at the beginning and that worked great up until we moved her to her crib in the nursery at 3 months.
Now she's 16 months and still nurses but only for about 20 minutes a day, for comfort. She used to nurse for about an hour at a time, more for comfort than sustenance, we think.
We also used a cosleeper at the beginning and that worked great up until we moved her to her crib in the nursery at 3 months.
Milksheikhs
Member
My experience with breastfeeding has been an over all positive one. Surprisingly my nipples didn't crack or bleed (one bled only very slightly at the hospital). But it definitely hurt a lot in the beginning when my nipples were getting used to it and it's uncomfortable..but for me it got better. Now it never hurts (I'm scared for when she starts teething though O___o). It's something that makes me feel good about myself. Although I've never understood why people feel the need to shame others decision not to breastfeed. It's nobody's business to be honest.
One annoying thing is we don't have any comfortable chairs or place to breastfeed. So I would suggest having a comfortable place to breastfeed.
One annoying thing is we don't have any comfortable chairs or place to breastfeed. So I would suggest having a comfortable place to breastfeed.
Thanks. Did you ever get the constipation thing figured out? My son was like that. I don't remember if he was diagnosed with anything specific but he was put on miralax daily for the first few years of his life. Eventually I forgot to give him his dose and he still did fine so I didn't give it to him the next day and he was just fine at that point.
We were told the same thing. The constipation made it hurt when he went so he held it in which made him constipated and the cycle continued. Also it might be a coincidence but my first born is very stubborn and has a fantastic memory. He turns 5 this month. Good luck.
Sorry to hear about the enema. We had to take him to the ER when he was little he was in so much pain and they gave him one. I felt so sorry for him.
Hopefully my very similar situation gives you hope. Once he was on the miralax for a bit he was fine and eventually he no longer needed it. I don't know if he no longer associated it with pain or if his GI tract developed more.
H.Protagonist
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Sorry it was such a struggle. :/ I do hear this a lot, hence my own trepidation when it comes to trying on my side. I totally agree with you, though. It's meant to be a good experience for both, and if it doesn't work out, it doesn't. I think formula is a fine alternative, and I'm not really fussed about it. We'll see how the husband takes it if it doesn't, though (see below for that)...
That sounds...pretty crazy.
Kid will probably have fond baby memories of catching that milk. I got nursing pads from my SIL, but fingers crossed that I don't need them in quite that way. I am hoping for a good experience like your lady's, though. I've heard endlessly about the benefits here to breastfeeding, and we'll be traveling a lot, so it would def help there as well. To actually enjoy it would be a bonus. A bit hard to get over long held personal hang-ups about it, but I will do my best, regardless.For the wine thing, I'm told it's best to actually drink while you nurse because it maxes the time between feeds so that the alcohol will work its way out and you don't have to dump anything (Not that there's much to be had once it goes through your system.). You should present her with a classy glass of red with a straw next food time. ^_^
And, yep. In Australia now. To say the push is big is almost an understatement. The image here, or attitude, is so heavily in favor of breastfeeding that even if you bleed for a few months (I am not entirely exaggerating here), you're expected to carry on or you're considered a quitter for your own convenience. At least, that's my impression of it. It was an early point of contention between myself and my husband when I first got pregnant. After his sister was unable to breastfeed with her daughter a few months ago and finding out (very much to his surprise) that his own mom mainly formula fed him, though, he's softened quite a bit on that stance, but the doctors here are also...insistent. Two appointments ago the midwife basically refused to answer me on formula supplementing if I was unable to produce (bc I was worried about the damn kid starving the first few days and wanted to know if I should have some on hand just in case) and I had to really press her because she just kept saying 'you need to keep trying'. I wasn't bloody looking for an excuse out, woman! It really left a bad taste in mouth. -_-
I hear you on the formula vs. breastfeeding group mentality shit. Both sides can be quite vitriolic and judge-y. I totally agree that everyone should give it a go if they can, but there's no shame in switching to formula if it doesn't work out. Don't know why both sides feel the need to be so unpleasant about the choice in general. And, yeah. The breastfeeding group has been recommending very surprisingly hippy-esque stuff too. Weird. Thought it was just here. Dare I ask what gripe water is...?
Man, I feel ya. That's my fear. Sometimes the pro-breastfeeding sentiment just makes you feel so damn bad if you're unable. I haven't even tried yet and I feel guilty for just considering the what-ifs if I can't. Just hug your wife a lot and say 'fuck 'em'. I've heard her exact sit from two other couples with twins and they, too, struggled with it. The babies are fed, happy, healthy, and loved, though. That's the important part.
That sounds like a nightmare. I'm getting that bolded bit at this much later point in life so it's not so bad, and I can't imagine how stressful that must have been for you. It really pisses me off how mothers are made to feel so bad about breastfeeding (among other things). I don't know if I'll have your fortitude if things don't work out in the first month, but I will try, and I will try extra hard to remember that it doesn't mean I love my xenomorph any less.Nipple shields... ;_; Breastfeeding also sounds like medieval torture sometimes. I'll look into buying those, thanks. Happy to hear another co-sleeper success story, too. Cheers!
I'm going to cling to this positive experience and pray to the milk gods for a similar one. Thank ya~ I wish I had the chair thing sorted, though. Since we're moving so soon, there doesn't seem any point in buying big furniture.
No nursery, no rocking chair, no cozy... *sigh*At the end of a wall post, but... good luck! Let us know how it all goes!
It seems like you are worrying too much already, causing you to overthink it. Just take it as it comes. A little pain is common the first days/weeks, but it often goes away within a week or two.
People are different though, of course. Just remember that if you stop cold turkey, your breasts will become engorged and hurt like insaneeee.
I live in Japan and it is a VERY traditional country. People dislike formula, and I'm always afraid I'm being silently judged when mixing her food in public. That's my only issue with formula (and how much effort it takes to clean the bottles every day, and such). No regrets, of course, my daughter loves her milk and she always seemed very happy with it.
Breastfeeding is way easier in many ways. Traveling, going out for dinner, etc. Takes me some time to get ready since I gotta pack clean bottles, boil water etc.
But whatever works out. Give it try. You might find breastfeeding insanely easy and convenient. Heck, it's supposed to be a very effective way of losing weight because of how many calories you burn.
Edit: I don't like to give advice without people asking ("Everyone and their mom have an opinion when it comes to babies"), but I highly suggest you bring a donut pillow to the hospital, if you're giving vaginal birth. I couldn't sit without it, which made breastfeeding so painful since I had to sit up. It's also very good for the car ride home + the coming weeks!
Just found out that I'm going to be joining you soon, ParentGaf! My wife and I have been trying to have kids for years with no success. We were on the verge of giving up, but yesterday morning my wife took a pregnancy test, which came up positive!
In RL, we're only telling close friends and family, but we are so excited!
In RL, we're only telling close friends and family, but we are so excited!
30yearsofhurt
Member
Cabbage leaves ladies.