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GAF... I need your help again :( (She wants anal sex [what what (in the butt)])

buttsecks

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Y

YakiSOBA

Member
I will try to keep this as short as possible. I know there are members here at GAF who will give me their honest opinions and advice, and I really think that's what I need most right now.

Some of you may recall I had a dilemma about asking out a female friend last year:
http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=128620&highlight=news+bears

Well, to summarize.. I asked her out and we've been going out ever since.

This Saturday, we're even going to a fancy ball held at our University:
http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?p=5727741#post5727741

Anyways... onwards with the situation I'm in.
She's my first girlfriend, and I'm in my senior year of University. Although I haven't had much experience with women, I'm not stupid and gullible. When we talked about past relationships, she wanted to be completely honest with me. So she told me... everything.

She told me about a "fling" she had with this guy early last year (I didn't know her yet). She was honest, and said she slept with him "once" (BS??) and in that same night... the guy asked if she wanted to do anal... and she let him because she "wanted him to like her". She said it doesn't even feel that good, and that it was "his" idea.

I'm almost tearing up as I write this... I don't know how to feel about this. I really like her, and I know she's just trying to be honest with me but.. it's like a deathly feeling right in the gut of my stomach...

I think firstly, I am just really disappointed in her for using her body like that... but I'm not even sure if it's "right" for me to feel disappointed, after all.. it is HER body and not mine.

Secondly, I feel like I want to murder this guy for using her like that -- but a thought keeps coming back to my mind... is that really the case? She wanted to fool around with him thinking it would make him like her, and he perhaps played along because he knew he could get some? ARG... it really hurts to think about him and her together... (Yes, I know this guy because I've seen him on campus and he's friends with some people I sorta know...)

So this conversation happened last night and now I don't know how to feel. About a week ago, when we were fooling around... she told me we could "try" anal sex and so we went and bought some KY... it was going to happen last night from what I figure, until I jokingly said "well there's a first time for everything"... which prompted her to cry a little and then... tell me all that stuff.

GAF, what am I supposed to feel? How am I supposed to feel? On one hand, she's being "honest" with me, and I appreciate that (even though it may be a bit too much information), on the other hand... I don't know for certain if it's the 100% truth (and I never will).

Does this boil down to the uncomfortable feeling of hearing a partners "past relationships", or is it more because, according to her, she fooled around with that guy knowing full well she was trying to "win" him over.


EDIT: I forgot to say, after the conversation last night... I sorta told her it might be a good idea that we not go that route because I didn't want to feel like she was doing it to make sure "i like her"...
 
L

Like the hat?

Banned
Here is my honest opinion:

Stop being a ****ing jerk. you like the girl, right? Who cares what she did in the past. If you are dating her, as long as shes not out getting ****ed in the ass by other people while you're dating her, who cares? The older you get the harder its going to be to find anyone thats not had some type of sexual experience. Suck it up and deal.
 
T

Triumph

Banned
I think you should stop being such a vagina, shut the hell up and bottle all of your problems up inside of you. It's what real men do.
 
L

LakeEarth

Member
I know this is your first major relationship so shit like this is gonna piss you off, but in all honesty, its not that big of deal. Try to ignore your emotions right now. Trust me, you won't get like this for your following relationships.
 
Y

YakiSOBA

Member
JodyAnthony said:
Here is my honest opinion:

Stop being a ****ing jerk. you like the girl, right? Who cares what she did in the past. If you are dating her, as long as shes not out getting ****ed in the ass by other people while you're dating her, who cares? The older you get the harder its going to be to find anyone thats not had some type of sexual experience. Suck it up and deal.
Click to expand...

I do like her, and this makes perfect sense... but why do I still feel so shitty? I've never felt this way before..
 
L

Like the hat?

Banned
YakiSOBA said:
I do like her, and this makes perfect sense... but why do I still feel so shitty? I've never felt this way before..
Click to expand...

Because, like you said, she's your first real girlfriend. Stuff like that would probably make anyone upset when it comes to their first girlfriend. I'm just saying that if you want this relationship to work out you gotta realize it's no big deal. I know it's hard to get over it when it comes to your first girlfriend but still. Be strong, my Billie-Joe-eating-a-candycane-avatar-having brother

EDIT:

As for this:

YakiSOBA said:
She wanted to fool around with him thinking it would make him like her
Click to expand...

It's called low self-esteem. She had her some low self esteem and wanted to be liked so she did what she did. If you dump her because of it her self esteem is going to plummet even further down.
 
S

Stele

Holds a little red book
You'll feel better once you're on your second girlfriend and stop caring about people's past so much. Unless you started dating early in high school, more likely than not, she's been banged in various places.
 
Dice

Dice

Member
You can't change the past so get over it.

Also, watch the movie Chasing Amy. (edit: beaten by Amir0x)
 
D

dskillzhtown

keep your strippers out of my American football
maynerd said:
Dude get a grip.
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No shit, you are a bit too sensitive. You let the slightest thing **** with your head. Just enjoy yourself with this girl. Over-analysis will destroy any relationship.
 
Blackace

Blackace

if you see me in a fight with a bear, don't help me fool, help the bear!
I never ask or want to hear about what they did in the past.. it serves no purpose because it shouldn't matter and it makes you feel like shit..
 
B

Boogie

Member
Your threads are just about the most transparent cases of "hay guys, look at me, I have a girlfriend and am having SEX" that I've seen.
 
L

LakeEarth

Member
JodyAnthony said:
It's called low self-esteem. She had her some low self esteem and wanted to be liked so she did what she did. If you dump her because of it her self esteem is going to plummet even further down.
Click to expand...
Further down? Then.... double anal???!?
 
Nameless

Nameless

Member
Theres nothing wrong with puting it the good ole Dook-Shoot. Just make sure you are VERY liberal with the KY(on both you and her) because you could hurt yourself as well, not just her.

Have fun at the Browns game!
 
Dice

Dice

Member
Oh, and in psychology I learned that between the genders there are different instincts we have regarding our mates. Men care more about sexual fidelity because it's how they can be certain that it's their kids. Women care more about emotional fidelity because it's how they know he'll stick around and protect the family. So keep in mind you probably have a bit of instinctual jealousy going on.
 
D

Draft

Member
She's done it before, on the first date no less, and then suggested that you should do it to her? Sounds like your girl is addicted to having her hershey highway plowed but is too chaste or embarrassed to admit it. Time for you to man up and punish that chocolate starfish like the bad orifice it is. She's acting all coy now, but I bet when her poop chute is stretched to the max she goes nuts. Congrats fella, sounds like you landed a keeper. Don't screw it up.
 
Y

YakiSOBA

Member
Blackace said:
I never ask or want to hear about what they did in the past.. it serves no purpose because it shouldn't matter and it makes you feel like shit..
Click to expand...

But I didn't ask :(

I'm not trying to get attention, I'm in need of advice and I know there are people here who will give their genuine advice regardless of if I take it or not, and that's what I appreciate.
 
B

bogg

Member
Advice about what?
You want someone to tell you how you should feel about this?
Come on now, grow a pair of BALLS.
If you guys like eachother that's all that matters, and dude you better FHUTA it may be your only chance!
 
Blackace

Blackace

if you see me in a fight with a bear, don't help me fool, help the bear!
You need to ask yourself WWJCD?*


After you ponder on this the answer becomes clear












*What Would Jackie Chan Do?
 
B

Boogie

Member
YakiSOBA said:
But I didn't ask :(

I'm not trying to get attention, I'm in need of advice and I know there are people here who will give their genuine advice regardless of if I take it or not, and that's what I appreciate.
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what bogg said. Advice about WHAT?

GTFO & FHUTA
 
B

Boogie

Member
Blackace said:
You need to ask yourself WWJCD?*


After you ponder on this the answer becomes clear

*What Would Jackie Chan Do?
Click to expand...

Jump off a building? I think that's great advice here. :D
 
S

Sanjuro

Member
YakiSOBA said:
So this conversation happened last night and now I don't know how to feel. About a week ago, when we were fooling around... she told me we could "try" anal sex and so we went and bought some KY... it was going to happen last night from what I figure, until I jokingly said "well there's a first time for everything"... which prompted her to cry a little and then... tell me all that stuff.
Click to expand...

So let me get this straight....

You purchased the kY together planning on having anal sex...

She doesn't like anal sex.....

All this talk about anal sex and when you mention first time she cries......

You teared up......

I'm honestly not trying to be mean here but you need to toughen up. Also you need to make sure she isnt a headcase. If you are unable to do both you are in a bad place.
 
Y

YakiSOBA

Member
Is the general consensus here that i'm a big emo pansy?

You guys make a lot of good points though.. I'm starting to feel bad for making her cry =/
 
H

HotItalianSausage

Member
Nameless said:
Theres nothing wrong with puting it the good ole Dook-Shoot. Just make sure you are VERY liberal with the KY(on both you and her) because you could hurt yourself as well, not just her.

Have fun at the Browns game!
Click to expand...


wow, you definitely didn't read what he said huh? :lol
 
B

Baker

Banned
YakiSOBA said:
Yo shut up, that's not the case!
I was upset because of hearing about the past, not cuz im scared to go backdoor...
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Go get the phone number for the girl in the virgin thread then. People have had sex before. People have done stupid things for acceptance before. Get over it.
 
R

Raguel

Member
What the Christ is the problem? I mean, shouldn't you be more worried that you're being a jerk to her and not comforting her because she was used? She clearly likes you, which is far more than you deserve for being so damn distressed over this. Grow up. At least she's not cheating on you. God damn. I wonder what that thread will be like.
 
B

Baker

Banned
Raguel said:
What the Christ is the problem? I mean, shouldn't you be more worried that you're being a jerk to her and not comforting her because she was used? She clearly likes you, which is far more than you deserve for being so damn distressed over this. Grow up. At least she's not cheating on you. God damn. I wonder what that thread will be like.
Click to expand...

GAF My Girlfriend Dumped Me Because I Wouldn't FHUTA

Serious posters only please.
 
E

evilromero

Member
Dude, I'll be completely honest with you- you are thinking WAY to hard about this. When you start thinking about a girl's past boyfriends then you've lost the battle. All girls have had sex so why should that even factor into your relationship?

First thing is first- most guys would give their own child to FHUTA. The previous guy didn't "take advantage of her" because she has her own mind and makes her own decisions. End of story.

Second, you will be a fool for not FHUTA if you get the chance. My god, let me make it clear how many of us has tried this conquest simply because it is the forbidden fruit with most chicks. We want it because we can't have it, therefore it makes it all the sweeter when it comes around (from behind). I wish there was a button I could hit on this keyboard that would slap you in the face for not moving forward with this. Do it! And plant the flagpole for anal sex advocates everywhere!
 
A

aoi tsuki

Member
Wait, she didn't like anal with the other guy, and so she's willing to try it with you? If she doesn't like it with you, do i get a shot?

Seriously, i don't even have time to really go into it, but if you're going to do anal on her, read some guides on the topic. Don't just go in thinking "lots of KY and i'm fine".
 
E

ElyrionX

Member
Boogie said:
Your threads are just about the most transparent cases of "hay guys, look at me, I have a girlfriend and am having SEX" that I've seen.
Click to expand...

:lol

Poor boogie. No need to get bitter just because he has a GF and you don't. You'll get there someday, I'm sure!
 
E

evilromero

Member
aoi tsuki said:
Wait, she didn't like anal with the other guy, and so she's willing to try it with you? If she doesn't like it with you, do i get a shot?

Seriously, i don't even have time to really go into it, but if you're going to do anal on her, read some guides on the topic. Don't just go in thinking "lots of KY and i'm fine".
Click to expand...
That's right. Have her purge that shit out post haste. You don't want a chocolate sundae on your man beef.
 
W

Wraith

Member
YakiSOBA said:
Is the general consensus here that i'm a big emo pansy?

You guys make a lot of good points though.. I'm starting to feel bad for making her cry =/
Click to expand...

You are being a big emo pansy. Her past doesn't matter - People are having sex earlier and earlier these days. If you're not hitting it in high school, you should severely curtail your innocence expetations.
 
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